It's Christmas Eve. I am so not ready!

It's the wee hours of Christmas Eve and I am FREAKIN OUT. I am not ready. I have exactly 2% of the gifts wrapped.

I do this EVERY year. When am I going to stop this? I'm such an adrenalin junkie.

Ok, one bizzare thought, I'm watching The David Letterman Show and Mickey Rourke is on. When did Mickey Rourke become The Joker?
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but seriously,what happened to his face? It looks nothing like the face I recall from Nine 1/2 Weeks. Time has not been kind to him.Ok, I digress.

Back to the topic at hand. I don't have any wrapping done. I can't do any now because Anastasia has gone to bed because she has to get up for work in the morning. My wrapping station is our bedroom because it's the only place safe from prying eyes. Or so I thought. Yesterday I sent my son up to look for something under our bed because of my bad back I can't do it myself. He came downstairs all smirky. He hadn't found what I sent him up for and he proceeded to tell me how the suitcase that was firmly placed on top of a rubbermaid bin had fallen over and it's contents spilled on the floor. Wow, I wonder how that happened? Then he got more smirky and said "I know I'm getting brown slippers for Christmas." To which Anastasia and I replied, "And how do you know that?" To which he replied, "the suitcase fell over and a pair of Men's size 14 slippers fell out". (Do you know how hard it is to find slippers in that size?) Well, he had me, because who on earth would I be giving those slippers to? Maybe u-boats for Stuart Little? Grrrrr, I wasn't even following my rule of hiding in plain sight. Then because my son knows he's got my goat he adds that I better not be getting him a shaver. My son will be 14 years old 3 days after Christmas. 14 years old! And he already has facial hair. He is also 5' 11 1/2" tall. (You can't forget the 1/2", he won't let you.) He is refusing to shave and looks like he's going for Seth Rogan's not so little bro look.

Anyway, I digress again. How am I possibly going to stay focused tomorrow?

I have to run to Best Buy to purchase anti-virus software and a new microphone for my son's karaoke machine. I bought a 4 pack of Christmas Karaoke cd's because he was saying how we don't have any Christmas Karaoke, however he failed to mention that he broke the microphone. So since we planned on using it Christmas Eve night, I have to get out at the crack of dawn (because I'm a nut and want to beat all the last minute shoppers, cough, crazies.)

Do I sound like I'm on speed? I swear I'm not. Really. I mean it.

Oh hell, I'm going to bed now. I hope you're managing your holiday better than I am.

Lola's Diner
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