Planning appointment...

Had an appointment at the C center today, they said it was a planning appointment. I thought that meant we’d huddle around the computer screen and the dr would explain his plan. NOPE. We made the mold for the mask today which was kind of cool and kind of creepy. They have me lie down on a CT table (WAIT! NO ONE SAID I WOULD BE HAVING A CT SCAN! I’m claustrophobic and need to prep with meds. I try to be cool, but I’m totally freaking out.) They take what looked like a sheet of latex (but it’s plastic or rubber because so many people are allergic) kind of shaped like a head and face (that’s the creepy part) and they put it in a stainless steel box full of hot water (autoclave maybe?) wait for the timer to ding, then lay it over my face and head and put a hard plastic form over my face, clamp it on, then start pressing all over to get all the nooks and crannies of my face pushed in for the mold. Meanwhile, my eyes have been closed since just before the loose sheet of plastic went over my face and I’m deep breathing and trying to concentrate on counting backwards from 100. I forget track of my counting several times, but that’s ok, because it’s a diversion from having the plastic face form clamped on my head and the fact that the table is moving into the CT scanner.  It moved in and out multiple times, then 2 techs walk in and announce they are done. They unclamp the mask and I let out a huge exhale and gasp for air. They freak and ask what’s wrong. I tell them I’m claustrophobic and they ask why didn’t I say something. I say cuz I was told this was a planning meeting, you know, sitting around the computer screen and telling me the plan. Then they gasp and hold back a laugh and say no, this is what planning is and they apologized and told me how well I did getting through it. Then they ask this large woman, large STRONG woman and another woman to come in to lift me into a seated position on the table with my legs dangling off the side. It was 1-2-3 wooo and I’m dizzy cuz they lifted me so fast. I’m not kidding, I was dizzy and had to sit there a few minutes. Lying down to seated in 5 seconds! I was shaking a little as one of them walked me to my spouse and to the front doors.  My first treatment is Monday afternoon. I’m going to call and find out if I will be in the CT scanner because I cannot do that again. I still don’t know how I didn’t have a full blown panic attack. I dapped a ton of lavender essential oils all over my nostrils and under my nose. My sister-in-law, the super essential oils salesperson would tell me it was the lavender oil. But that wasn’t the only thing that saved me. 

They seriously pulled something in my lower back. I need to be sitting a a pool of ice. I am icing, but it’s never enough when the spouse and I are both using the ice packs and all the ice coming out of the fridge ice dispenser. I wanted to get up on my own off that table, I’ve done it myself almost 10 times this year with all the CT scans and MRI’s. I CAN do it, and I’ve never hurt like this when I got up on my own. Tomorrow I’m not going anywhere, I’m taking muscle relaxants, icing, sleeping, and praying.