I was a bit appalled at this dude’s gall. I get all the mansplaining towards the end. He did not know what he did, maybe he took what his wife said too far.
Both times I was pregnant I was on my own. No help whatsoever. My ex-husband was of no help. My sister only came to visit me at the hospital for 5 minutes with my first born and didn’t bother with the second. I’ve had 4 surgeries. My partner and 2nd spouse did help. Spouse moreso.
I would never ask friends, relatives, marginal acquaintances for help, except for the GoFundMe campaign. We were desperate and I do apologize, I felt creepy doing it. I still feel creepy about it. It was a dire situation. Having your wife bring home a new baby and asking for gourmet meals with high end ingredients so you and your wife have meals while trying to get accustomed to parenthood is not a dire situation. No new parent died from eating PB&J’s for a week because they were too exhausted to toss a Lean Cuisine in the microwave oven.
I wholeheartedly believe what my Mom always said, “You do for family.” I don’t think many people nowadays believe in this. I only recall one person doing for me. It was the “family” of my neighborhood growing up. One of the neighbor boys my Mom babysat was very generous. I do for family whenever I can, if I have the means to help....even if that means cutting finances close. Another axiom from my Mom, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Back to the article. I’ve heard of Meal Train and other systems that people use today for help with meals or whatnot after coming home with their baby. I think how it is received by friends and family is reflective of the relationship. In some circles what this guy asked for could be completely acceptable. If his family and friends have the means to buy high end produce, foods, they might not think what he asked for was outrageous. Or, they may know him to be socially awkward, so they cut him some slack about his asks.
Part of me also thinks that in some ways this goes back to entitlement. This dad seems to feel entitled to continue to eat the kind of meals he and his wife had prior to the baby coming home. He couldn’t figure out how to make a PB&J, or microwave a Lean Cuisine or some other frozen meal more conforming to his tastes? Heck, On-Cor frozen entrees or canned ravioli saved us in a pinch.
This kind of reminds me of the articles I’ve read about Brides and their wants for their shower gifts and wedding gifts.
Be happy with what you get, be thankful for the generosity of others, if someone asks you how they can help have it be something simple that either costs no money or is frugal. Which reminds me, I forgot a couple things from the grocery store. A friend of my spouse’s had rotator cuff surgery reversal on Friday. (I feel so badly for her. She had a pit bull attack her at a shelter and it flung her around by the arm like a rag doll. She had rotator cuff surgery a few months before and everything got all torn up.) Anyway, my spouse promised a tray of homemade mostaccioli.
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