Sunday Stealing

Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves.

Stolen from The Pen Company

1. If your house was on fire, which three items would you save? Presuming all people and pets have gotten out safely…photographs, laptops, at least 1 suit (takes forever to find one when I shop for one.) 

2. What is the strangest or most awkward date you’ve ever been on? There were so many! I have to pick two. Video chatted a lot online with this woman in Canada. She decided to fly in for a date. I brought with me roses. (Big kiss of death in lesbian dating. No flowers until you’re in a relationship for months.) She brought a little bear. We find each other at the airport and the meet does not go well no matter how polite and charming I tried to be. I don’t know where her anger came from, but she was rude, mean, etc. She’d seen what I looked like on video and had seen photos, so I couldn’t figure it out. I was nothing but nice, friendly, etc. When I spoke to her in the car I said things like, if you’re not interested in a date, why don’t we do something touristy since you came all this way. Crickets. I decided on Navy Pier. She did not speak on the entire ride. When we got inside she wandered off. I later found out she changed her flight and wanted to take a taxi back to Midway. I politely offered to drive. (Stupid me! I should have bailed like she did but since I invited her I felt responsible for her return to the airport.) She didn’t talk the entire ride. Dropping her off she got out, threw the roses at me, slammed the car door shut and stormed off. I never heard from her after.

Other date, the woman picked me up and had a wing woman with her. It was Valentine’s Day, I brought roses (again, kiss of death for a lesbian date.) At the restaurant all she talked about was her ex. She even cried hysterically about her ex. After dinner she and her wing woman wanted to go to a gay bar. We walked to the next block where there was one. I had enough at this point, faked illness and did the long walk home alone. Yeah, it was cold, (February in Chicago) but the company was so much better. Just me.

3. What are your biggest fears? Pass.

4. How do you spend your time when you are procrastinating? Reading, watching tv. Doing nothing productive.

5. What has been your most memorable birthday so far, and why? The year I turned 50 I invited 2 friends over, and my future wife invited a couple friends. Call me a weirdo, but I wanted the party to be like a kid’s backyard party. I bought a sprinkler and tried to get everyone to run through it. I thought it would be fun. I even went first. It was more than hot enough for it in July. The few ladies who refused got chased around with the sprinkler and got soaked anyway. It was all in good fun. Afterwards, we sat around the patio table, chatted and had drinks. I don’t remember who said it, but someone got indignant (fake) and accused me of wanting a wet t-shirt contest birthday party. Honestly it never occurred to me, but when I looked around the table at everyone I started laughing because that’s what it became. I swear my intentions were to have like a 5 year old’s birthday party in  my backyard, but I guess I got a bonus. We all laughed so hard and still do when birthday parties come up in conversation.

6. What is your favorite snack? Popcorn.

7. What was your first pet? Maxwell. An adorable Springer Spaniel Terrier mix I adopted my 2nd year in Chicago. I really miss him.

8. What’s your favorite city in your country? Chicago. I lived there 17 years and it was the perfect place to come out later in life.

9. Do you have a garden? We do now. This week we got 3 tomato plants to my wife’s delight. She wanted a full vegetable garden but we had so much going on it never happened. This week I found plants were being given away nearby and I sent her off to get what she wanted.

10. What is your favorite thing about your home town? It’s a lot like the suburb I live in now and it’s so nice to go back and visit. We are going in August and my whole family can’t wait!

11. What was the last book you read? Can’t say. Not exactly a genre for everyone.

12. What is the best book you have ever read? I don’t really have a favorite.

13. Who is your favorite author? TB Markinson and Miranda Macleod, they are a writing team…and I just gave away the genre.

14, Is there a food that you hate? Super spicy food. I like spicy, but not the over the top spicy food my son eats.

15. Do you get along with your neighbors? It’s not really friendly around here. The guy the other side of my driveway is nice. He’s helped out many times with repairs. He mows my front and side yard. I have a rider that he rebuilt the engine for, but neither my wife or I should be riding around on it. I always pay him. The neighbor on the other side is a real douche bag. One weekend night he built a stage and had a concert in his backyard! Not kidding! Full rock band with amps and all. Wow was it loud.

16. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? No tats. Had my ears pierced twice but always had issues and let them close.

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