Why did no one notify my wife

My wife has been helping her Mother’s 80 year old friend, Cathy. She picks up her mail from her post office box, shops for her groceries, delivers them, and puts them away. She has a key to her apartment and had to sign for the key with the apartment manager.

My wife heard from her a couple of times a month when she needed groceries. She hadn’t heard from her in a month and had been calling her cell phone, never reaching her. Not unusual, because Cathy would often forget to charge her cell phone, or it was out of reach. Before the last shopping trip she hadn’t heard from her and drove over to see if she was ok. She had fallen, couldn’t get up, and couldn’t reach her phone. My wife came home, got my son, and asked another tenant to help get her off the floor. I know what you’re thinking, she should be in a nursing home, retirement community, or living with someone. Cathy was stubborn and wanted to live in her own apartment, alone. Whenever she did get sent to a nursing home for Rehabilitation, she would get kicked out because she wanted to do what she wanted to do. She’d been kicked out of 3 nursing homes…that I know of.

My wife shopped for her about a month ago and hadn’t heard from her, couldn’t reach her since. Today I drove my wife over there to do a wellness check on our way to the store. Cathy’s car was parked where it had been. My wife knocked on the door, no answer, so she used her key. She opened the door to find Cathy’s belongings gone, and another tenant’s there. She immediately locked the door and we went to the rental office. It was closed, but she reached someone by phone who would not tell her anything. My wife has no contact information for any relatives. She had met Cathy’s sister when Cathy moved from a condo to this apartment, but didn’t think to exchange contact information.

What do you do in this situation? Thinking the worst, I started Googling. For future reference, if you want to find out if someone has passed away, go to 

Legacy.com. It didn’t take long to find the obituary. Since her name was kind of common I used the listing of those who passed away before her, looking for her husband’s name. I did find the correct obituary. She passed away a month ago on October 9, 2021. The funeral home service was October 15th. Why couldn’t the rental office call my wife??? Or the nursing home that she apparently was at? The obituary listed her as having lived in a NW suburb, but her apartment was in a SW suburb, so she must have been in a nursing home. My wife still has a key to that apartment.

My brother-in-law has insisted for years that Cathy said she was leaving him some property in her will. I’m sure Cathy did say that, but that doesn’t mean it was true. She owned a lot of properties in the SW suburbs and at least one property we know of in Michigan. For years my wife took my son to one of the properties after every snowfall to shovel and salt the sidewalk. I’m sure if Cathy bequeathed any property or money to my brother-in-law or my wife her attorney would be required to find them and notify them.

It’s just really sad and frustrating. Had we known that she was in a nursing home we would have at least called her and asked about visitation rules and to ask if she needed anything. We had done that when she had been at other nursing homes. Cathy was in a nursing home during the early part of the pandemic, and had gotten kicked out and moved to a different one. Each time Cathy moved my wife regularly contacted her.

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