Days 242-246 of Sheltering In

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Tuesday was my orthopedic appointment for my shoulders. The PA asked how I felt PT was going. (Hadn’t gone in over a month due to having to reschedule my appointment because my son and I were quarantining because my wife’s friend is an asshat and exposed us to the coronavirus.) I told the PA it helped tremendously with my L shoulder, nearly 100% range of motion. My R shoulder needs a lot more PT. She wrote an order for PT. I’ll be lucky to get started again before Christmas, because it takes so long to process referrals, and the holidays. I also have more doctor appointments in December. I have my 2 year checkup on my tumor. I’m very nervous. My memory is getting worse. It could be all the stress I am under, or a combination of both. I’m hoping for stress and praying there is no change in the tumor.

All week long I got triple the number of calls from my daughter. She was going on and on about her room bring packed up at the group home and the stuff they threw away. Thursday my daughter just kept ruminating on it to me. She got me so worked up that I started to draft an email to the new Director and Asst Director. I kept it as a draft and had a cocktail or three to calm myself. My daughter really carries on about things!

Friday morning I decided to leave the email draft alone. I decided not to pursue replacement of the food I had bought for my daughter (see previous post). I also decided for the rest to see how things played out. It was the right thing to do. I called the Asst Director, as requested, to discuss the Thanksgiving home visit. I got the details on how long, when to get the Covid-19 test and I was told to call the Asst Director on 12/03 about scheduling. She promised to somehow squeeze my daughter into the schedule. Since I had her on the phone, I asked about my daughter’s guitar and the other items that my daughter doesn’t know the whereabouts of because they packed them up and whisked them away. I was told the team lead would get the items and I should coordinate a time on Tuesday. I was told I could take those items, but warned they may have bedbugs. They didn’t have bedbugs when they were in my daughter’s room, but I will still take precautions. 

Later in the day the team lead called to tell me the van driver from Monday tested positive for the coronavirus. I immediately called my daughter and told her she needed to be diligent about wearing a mask when around her housemates.

Saturday was laundry day at my father in law’s. Yes, my new to me washer and dryer are still in my garage and my old broken appliances are still in the basement. I just don’t want to go there. Color me extremely frustrated. My wife did laundry, we had lunch and played cards. Shortly after we got home and had dinner my daughter did her nightly FaceTime call. I asked if she heard about the van driver. Turns out none of the housemates were told. I also found out that this was a non-issue because no one left the house on Monday, so they weren’t taken by van to day program. So that was good news.

Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020

Day 240, 241 of Sheltering In

Sunday, Monday. Sunday I stayed home and watched QVC In the Kitchen With David. I did not buy anything. I don’t care for it when they are mostly hawking food. That’s not to say I’ve never ordered food. Last month I ordered something my wife loved sharing with her Mom. I’m hoping it’s a big hit. It will arrive in time for Christmas.

Sunday night was a sh*t show at my daughter’s group home. Maria is livid, as is my wife and I. Because maintenance is supposed to come Tuesday to treat for bedbugs, they basically packed up everyone’s things, not labeling them. They threw away a brand new Rubbermaid tote filled with brand new hangers that I bought my daughter. She retrieved it and hid it so when I pick her up for the holiday we can take it to my house. My daughter also had 2 footlockers filled with canned goods-soups, sparkling water, some other items. NOTHING was out of date, nor was there evidence of bedbugs or mice droppings. I’m sure the bag of food went into the team lead’s car. They also bagged my daughter’s guitar and put it in the basement where the floor is wet and damp. Again, no bedbugs or mice droppings. My daughter is missing the portable DVD player and movies I bought or borrowed from my collection. My daughter also had a large lockbox where she stores her valuables and things important to her, like her engagement ring (caught her! She had been calling it a Promise ring.) If all these don’t turn up I will help my daughter advocate to get those items returned to her or replaced. The thing that really chaps my hide is that my daughter was praised on Saturday for how neat, clean, and organized her room was. Then Sunday staff came in and trashed it.

They even cleared out kitchen cabinets of canned goods, threw away good food from the fridge and freezer, including a bag of apples I brought my daughter. My daughter complained that she was just going to get an Apple and staff took one out and threw it to her, but still took the bag of apples to the trash cans, more likely her car.

There was no evidence of bedbugs on the 2nd floor, only 1 bedroom on the 1st floor had them. One of the housemates in that room has had multiple short home visits (which are not allowed, but for her they let her), and she looks like Pig-Pen from the Peanuts cartoons. I’d bet money she’s been bringing them back to the group home.

My wife and I believe my daughter and her housemates rights were violated by them going through their rooms, bagging items, not labeling the bags, and throwing out perfectly good items. Other housemates complained they also had perfectly good items thrown in the trash and were also upset. One lady who had her cookbook collection thrown out for no reason a year ago, had the cookbooks she collected since then. I had given her several so she at least had a few to help her plan meals. She loves cookbooks. (I will ask my daughter to find out what was trashed and will go to Goodwill to try to replace a couple. They are usually $1.99 each. It’s not bad enough that these ladies have not been able to go anywhere other than day program. No trips for takeout, no shopping trips, no dates, but then they have to have what little personal space they have violated. My daughter was very upset, her voice breaking when she said to me, “Mom...my room looks like when I first moved in. They even took the paintings you gave me off the walls.” I wanted to cry, but I kept it together while I was in the phone with her. She’s really upset that her guitar might be water damaged or broken. I wanted to get it from her and take it back to my house when we did a quick stop to pick up a check my daughter needed me to deposit, but they wouldn’t let her get it to give to me.

Can’t we ever catch a break from all this aggravation and drama? I’ve really been trying to try to not focus on this stuff, but it’s hard not to. Especially when my daughter is going to want me to buy her some canned goods and sparkling water. I don’t have the money to do it. With the holidays my food budget is stretched as far as it can go. My wife, the kids, and myself all have lists of what sides and desserts they want. I can’t get the ingredients for all of them, so I’ll compare the lists and most likely buy the ingredients for the items most everyone wants. I hate this. I promised myself since the pandemic began we would not go to our local food pantry. We do qualify, but I’m sure there are people who are having trouble feeding their families. We’re doing ok, but I just can’t afford the added expense this month and next of buying stuff for my daughter while she is still in the group home. When she moves into her apartment I’m sure I will have to find a way to help her get set up with food.

I had my opthamalogist appointment today. They dilated the heck out if my eyes (4 drops in each eye) and took lots of photos of my eyes. The dr told me my eyes are very healthy, no signs of damage due diabetes, see you next year. My eyes are almost back to normal. Thank goodness I talked my wife into driving me. I could not have done it with my eyes dilated and all those drops blurring my vision.

Tomorrow is my orthopedic dr appointment. That will be about 5, maybe 10 minutes of face time with the PA.

Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020

Days 235-239 of Sheltering In

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Tuesday the basement work did not get done. Hoping for this coming Tuesday. Monday I have an ophthalmologist appointment, so I need a driver because of having my eyes dilated. If it weren’t for that, the basement may have been able to be started Monday. My brother in law is supposed to help. The quarantine for my son and I is completed. We are well, except for me getting violently ill on Wednesday. Started with abdominal pain, so I thought it was the start of an IBS episode. I took the appropriate medication after lunch. About 2 hours later a wave of nausea hit me and I had to grab a nearby trash can because I knew I would not make it to the bathroom. I lost everything I ate that day, was exhausted from being ill and ended up falling asleep. I waited til around 7pm and had some broth and plain toast. After that I was fine. It was strange.

Thursday my daughter got word about the new apartments. Final walk through was to be Friday, depending on how it went, my daughter could be in her new digs before Christmas. I’m hoping COVID-19 doesn’t delay her move. 

Friday my wife and I went to Goodwill and Ross. My wife wanted to go to Goodwill to get Corningware casserole dishes for my daughter. 😂 I told her I took care of that last year. I’d go to Goodwill once a week or so and picked up Corningware for us and for my daughter. I even got her a set of Temptations canisters for flour, sugar, etc. Perfect condition, all the pieces were there. My daughter had wanted my Mom’s MCM stainless canisters, but I still use them. I’d been checking Etsy for pieces of a set, but never ordered any. She’s all set for Canisters and Corningware. My wife was a bit bummed out, but I told her we’d go to Goodwill anyway and see what they had. I was looking for a twin headboard, because someone thought it would be ok to toss 1/2 the bunk bed to the curb instead of leaving it where I stored it. Gah! Now I have a mattress and frame but no headboard. We ended up doing Christmas shopping there and at Ross. We are done Christmas shopping now, except for stocking stuffers and for each other. Sunday if the thrift store is open I may check there for a headboard. That’s where I got the frame and they had quite a bit of headboards. I can’t do my usual stay at home Sunday because I have to drop off meds and totes to my daughter. The first floor has bedbugs again and they are making everyone bag their clothing and put it in the damp, wet basement on the floor. My daughter was freaking out. To appease her I told her we would drop off totes to put the bags in. My brother-in-law is a Ross junkie. He loves that store. He wants to buy my daughter dinnerware or flatware, or both. Not sure, but anything helps.

When we finished at Ross my daughter called. One of her elderly housemates on the first floor passed away in her sleep. The girl she shared her room with found her. She was more of an acquaintance of my daughter’s, she was upset, but not inconsolable. It’s affecting the ladies on the first floor more so, because they interacted with her every day. She hadn’t called earlier because they made her go to day program because they pulled extra counselors to meet with her and her housemates.

The agency that runs the group homes keeps changing the rules on home visits. It was 14 days, then 5, now it’s more than 14 days. If she goes home the week of thanksgiving, her first day counted is thanksgiving. We planned on having her with us for thanksgiving, Christmas, my son’s birthday, and NYE. It will be 2 visits, just need to figure out the dates. If the apartment move happens before Christmas, plans will change. My wife wants us to do Christmas at my daughter’s if she’s moved in by then.

Lola’s Diner cc. 2008-2020