Below is a re-post of a post I did back in January. If you're new to my blog, enjoy. If not, sorry pallies, I'll be back to regular posting when I return from my little vacation.
Oprah's Touch/I Shook Hands With Oprah:Oprah is in the news again. It seems another of her book club selections is a fraud. Is Oprah’s Golden Touch Tarnished? This is the third time she's been duped. Doesn't she have staffers to check on these books? What I don’t understand about these authors is, why is it necessary to be fraudulent? Can’t you tell a compelling story in a novel? Does it really have to be a memoir/biography in order to be inspirational and noteworthy? I don’t get it.
Anyway, this made me think of my Oprah story. And it is completely true. I was at a taping in October 1994 when Paul Reiser was promoting his book “Couplehood”. I was 7 months pregnant and bigger than a house and not terribly thrilled to be attending the taping. My husband (now ex-husband) had “surprised” me with tickets. Apparently my ex-husband had numerous conversations with one of Oprah’s assistant producers and somehow charmed her into the “Full Oprah Treatment”. What is the “Full Oprah Treatment” you ask? A limousine picks you up at the crack of dawn and drives you to Harpo Studios (and gives you a ride home after the taping). Did I mention I was 7 months pregnant and bigger than a house and he sprung this on me 10 minutes before the limo driver arrived? I had nothing to wear. Absolutely nothing. I think I ended up wearing the only blouse I had that fit and sweatpants. Sweatpants! I was mortified.
We arrived at Harpo Studios, went through the security line and were ushered into a large room with tables of fruits, bagels, bakery items, coffee and juice. The room was full of other couples. Cute perky couples, perfectly coiffed. Oprah staffers ran around the room with headsets on and clipboards in hand. The assistant producer assigned to us coached us and told us what to expect and told us to watch for our queue to go to the microphone and tell our story. Let’s just say I was less than thrilled that she was implying that I was going to talk ON CAMERA and tell some cockamamie story that apparently my ex-husband had used to get the “Full Oprah Treatment”. I was ready to kill him at that point.
After what seemed like an eternity, all of us were ushered into the studio and seated. More instructions were given.
Queue Oprah, she introduces Paul Reiser.Oprah finished up, the taping ended and the audience filed out just past the stage area to shake hands with Oprah on camera. People in line were whispering that she did that so that no one could say that she promised them anything. Whatever. No big deal.
Queue cute perky couples with silly stories.
Queue more cute perky couples with silly stories.
Queue us!
Oh SHIT!
I get my pregnant ass out of my seat and walk over to the microphone, wondering what the HELL I am doing there. (Also wondering if I will be able to speak because the last time I was on a stage was in 4-H in a play in junior high and when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. All I can think of is that and the fact that I should have passed on the orange juice earlier, because now my pregnant ass had to use the bathroom.)
Queue commercial break.
Queue Oprah.
Oprah introduces a couple who were married for like 50 years.
Oprah closes the show.
They skipped us!
Hallelujah!
I shook hands with Oprah.
Lola's Diner
©2008-2009
3 comments:
Sorry, but that was funny! We were ALMOST on Oprah once but it didn't pan out. Oh, well! Hope you are enjoying your trip.
I can't stand Oprah but I did love Paul Reiser's book “Couplehood”. He is as funny with his writing as he is with his acting.
The first time I went we got the fruit table. The second time was an afternoon taping and they made us starve. Ten it was a makeover show and there was a guy sitting not too far with an awful outfit. I said HE needed a makeover. Turns out he was Jesse Garza, one of the designers.
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