Is it possible to not complain about anything for a day?

In these 2 cases I feel justified. 

Let’s start with the most recent. My daughter texts me to tell me she fell through the porch at her group home. Text. Fell. Through. Porch. Text! Seriously, text! I made her call me ASAP. Her voice was quiet (which it NEVER is.) And she sounded shaken. I ended up driving over there at 9pm and I dragged my spouse along. Wow! Someone was cranky! Anyway, spouse took a bunch of photos and I took several videos of the damaged area. My daughter AND 2 housemates have fallen through this area of the porch, today. No medical attention was offered to my daughter or her housemates. They were not even offered ice! Not even sure if they have fallen more than today. Anyway, the board is cracked in several places and is no longer nailed or screwed to the joists below. If you step on it (which is necessary because of its location and the location of the door that opens onto the porch) the board flips up and foot goes down below the porch. If another person were standing on the step the board would smack them in the face.

We arrived at 9:30pm. My daughter had told me that staff made a report, however, since it was serious enough to make a report (which it is) one would think that area would be blocked off, covered with a scrap of wood, or in some way marked to warn people. Nope. Nada. Nothing. We will be monitoring this. What fun! I just spent an entire week trying to get them to give my daughter 2 prescriptions, prescribed the week before. So tired of these games. I really feel for the other clients who do not have family advocating and insuring their loved one receives their medications as prescribed.

I really didn’t want to remove the ice from my back and get out of bed to check out the above incident, but I had to. I was rear ended. At Meijer. In the checkout lane. By a lady who lunches. Of course. She was obviously in a hurry to get back to whatever was more important. There were 4 feet of clearance to my right to allow people to get by the checkout lanes. The woman straight up rammed the back of the electric cart I was seated in. HARD. Either she is blind as fork, or she was on her cell phone not paying attention. She rammed me, I yelled “what do you think you’re doing?” She comes around on the right, where she should have gone in the first place, slaps me on the shoulder twice and says “oh I’m so sorry” and then takes off to cut in line 3 lanes over. Yes! Cut in line. Needless to say the people she tried to cut didn’t allow it because they saw what happened because I called attention to it, and because you don’t cut the line at checkout!

I came home, shooting pain, sciatica, and my balance is more off than usual. Started ice packs as soon as I got home. Why do people have to be so careless and incredibly rude? I was waiting in the checkout lane just like everyone else, except for this woman who obviously felt she was more important and entitled than all the rest of us waiting. Did she think if she took me out she could take my place in line?

I need to re-think what time of day to shop. I went then because my daughter wanted to shop. We had free lunch at the car dealer. BBQ. Then went to Meijer. This is the 2nd time I’ve been rammed into at a grocery store. I’m tired of being assaulted at the grocery store. 

Lola’s Diner cc. 2008-2019

This and that

Went to the doctor yesterday. A1C same as last visit. Doctor was happy and he encouraged me. He knows what’s going on. We talked about my headaches and memory issues. He told me to bring them up with my neurologist next month. He thinks my headaches are tension headaches. Imagine that! He doesn’t think diabetes is causing them. I always make sure I’m hydrated and never leave the house without taking water to go. I even pack a cooler if we’re running errands. Sparkling water and ice packs, protein bars, and a pouch of frosting just in case. He prescribed something that might offer some relief until I talk to the neurologist. I have to titrate it up so it builds in my system, so it could be weeks before I notice an improvement, but at least it’s something.

Going for coffee with my daughter tomorrow. Going to discuss my theory about her behavior. Gonna make her “straighten up and fly right”, as my Dad used to say. I had no idea what that meant when I was a kid, cuz I was the “good kid”. Really! 

I NEED some new shows to binge watch or new movies. I am running out of stuff that appeals to me. You would think with Netflix, Hulu, and Prime that wouldn’t be an issue. I don’t care for horror movies or series. Don’t care for “period” pieces. And can’t read subtitles, so Mafia Dolls and at least 6 other series I tried to start are foreign films, series. 

And...my birthday is coming up. How do I know this? Cuz my daughter brings it up at least twice every day! It’s not that it bothers me because of my age, it’s because I am always expected to come up with what to do and what I want for my birthday. Can’t I just once not be the event planner and gift suggester? I don’t really mean “event”, it’s just my immediate family. It would be more accurate to say “what to do”. I don’t have a clue, but even though we’ve done it before, running through the sprinkler sounds like fun. Ok, not running, more like strolling slowly with my cane.

I think Drummer Boy’s house is off the market. It wasn’t in the For Sales in the Zillow report I just read. I don’t know if that means it’s off the market or if a contract is pending. In other neighborhood news, the new neighbor, the one who’s son drives a whooptie car (they bought Mr. Friendly’s house from the frat boys who rehabbed it) waved to my spouse on Sunday. I wave nearly every time I see them. Crickets. Whateves! Maybe an unfriendly neighbor or more accurately, one who doesn’t acknowledge anyone’s existence, is a good neighbor? Not going to be threatened with a Donnybrook on the front lawn if you don’t acknowledge each other’s existence. Right? What’s to not like or disagree with the other? Nothing, because there is no communication.

Is crime going crazy where you are? For the last 6 months our area has been hit hard with car break ins, car theft, home burglary, home invasion, and smash and grab at local businesses. 10 businesses over 2 days were hit, cinderblock through the front door. 

Lola’s Diner cc  2008-2019

Funk...not funky

I’ve been in a funk since July 4th and it’s just been downhill since then. Still in my jammies, still in bed.

My daughter had to work the 4th, probably a good thing considering how things went every day until Sunday when she had to work again.

My daughter’s behavior is less than stellar. I think all this bad behavior comes from issues at her group home that are out of her control...bad, threatening behavior of a housemate, losing another counselor (no continuity of care), and threats from staff about daily room inspections. They have also threatened room inspections when my daughter isn’t home which is invasion of privacy. I get it. She feels like everything around her is out of her control, so she does what she can control...the bad behaviors on a home visit and the attention she gets even though it’s negative attention. 

My headaches have headaches. I am incredibly stressed out. Right now, even though my daughter went back to her group home and my spouse went to lunch with a friend, I am in tears.

It’s also bothering me that my sister won’t listen to reason. She’s now type 2 diabetic and her blood sugar is out of  control. She thinks just because she works 2 jobs she only has time for drive thru food. Atkins has frozen dinners, they are low carb. No time to pop one in the microwave oven? Her 2nd job is at a grocery store, she seriously can’t pick out Atkins frozen dinners? She had a doctor appointment Friday and never let me know how it went. She was expecting a medication change. I had to contact her. She has no insurance and will not spend money on prescriptions. She said the stuff I am on is too expensive. Most of what I take have manufacturer deals that bring the cost to as low as $5. So because she wants only cheap meds her doctor prescribed a medication that she should not take because she is allergic to sulfa. So her doctor has her on the lowest dose and she has to take part of the pill, continue to increase if no she has no allergic reaction. I just don’t get it. Why would you risk it?

Moving on, I’m still out of sorts because a trip to WI for the State Fair is not happening. Even if the road construction weren’t a huge issue, how will we all get along? On the one hand I think it could be a good thing, get everyone out of the environment where there is fighting. On the other...it’s a toss up. Not bring my daughter to WI? I would never hear the end of it from both kids. Maybe a trip would be a good thing, but if not the WI State Fair, then what?

Any suggestions for something like WI State Fair, but closer that would have close handicap parking, mostly blacktop even terrain, and scooters for rental? I checked, WI State Fair has all that. Will County Fair grounds in Peotone, and the fair in Sandwich are mostly uneven gravel and too dangerous for my spouse. A friend had Joan Jett tickets she was giving away free because of her upcoming surgery and recovery and my spouse declined because the terrain where the concert is at is hilly and uneven. She is fearful because her new knees are out of whack she could have a bad fall. 

I guess I better get dressed, show my face, and go pick up stuff that’s ready at the pharmacy. Oh what fun!

Lola’s Diner cc 2008-2019

Opioid Crisis 😢

Last month my son heard from a kid from our Chicago neighborhood on Facebook. They went to grade school school together and lived a few streets over. She has a brother. Both my kids knew them. The girl let my son know her Mom passed away from a heart attack. They chatted for awhile. My son told me about it later that week. 

He heard from his friend again this week. She told him they found out how she really died. She died of an overdose of opioids mixed with alcohol. Her Mom was recovering from back surgery. They had also found prescription bottles for opioids that were not in her Mom’s name. This makes me think her Mom’s surgery was awhile ago.

Omg. After I asked how his friend and her brother were doing I had a conversation with him about opioids, since this hits close to home, my having back surgery, my spouse having 2 TNR’s. I told him there are no opioids in the house and he didn’t need to worry about us and he didn’t need to ruminate on it. Both my kids are pretty much professional ruminators. That’s what landed my daughter in the hospital many times, ruminating over something to the point of becoming ill. 

This didn’t have to happen. Illinois has an 

Opioid Alternative Pilot Program which basically is for patients who have or could receive a prescription for opioids as certified by a physician licensed in Illinois. The patient’s licensed physician can go online to complete a Physician Certification. The patient then goes online to complete their portion of the application, attach a passport photo, copy of driver’s license or state ID, proof of current address and pay a $10 fee online. After they pay the fee they can usually print their “card” and visit a dispensary in about 2-3 business days. The card is good for 90 days from the processing date (the date on the “card”.)

For patients with a condition or conditions on the 

Illinois list of debilitating conditions they can apply for a 1, 2, or 3 year registry card under the  

Medical Cannabis Patient Program (MCPP)

Fees are $100, $200, and $250 with reduced fees for patients on Social Security Disability or Veterans. Patients applying for this card are given provisional access to their selected dispensary until their application is approved. Approval times vary from several weeks to a month or more.

Caregivers can also obtain a card so they can purchase items at a dispensary for a card holder unable to do so themselves, or accompany a card holder and assist them at the dispensary. Application for Designated Caregiver Identification Card Fees vary based on whether it is a 1, 2, or 3 year card.

It’s not about getting “baked”, or stoned”. There are so many more ways to use medical marijuana/cannabis. There are many kinds of edibles, tinctures that you put a drop under your tongue or add to a beverage, tonics that you drink, and much, much more. You can get a variety of different THC and CBD strengths. You can get a product with only THC or only CBD. THC is what can make you “high”, depending on the % and how much is smoked, vaped, or otherwise consumed. There are a multitude of strains of marijuana that have different effects. They may be for inflammation, pain, anxiety, insomnia, to help with appetite, stress, depression, headaches, muscle spasms, and much, much more. The employees at the dispensary that meet with card holders are called “Bud Tenders”. Way to make it not about the weed! The Bud Tenders are trained to know the various strains, THC/CBD levels, and delivery methods that can help individuals with their conditions. They basically answer all questions and make suggestions about what would be good to treat an individual’s condition(s). They will ask, have you ever, are you ok with smoking, or vaping? Would you rather use edibles, tinctures, capsules, tonics? They are very aware that some individuals aren’t comfortable with medical marijuana/cannabis. Card holders have been told it may help them and they are willing to set aside their preconceived notions and try it.

Just an FYI. If you see products in a store or online that say they contain CBD, CBD oil, don’t fall for it. The only place you can get CBD products that have been lab tested not only for authenticity of ingredients and potency, but also pesticides, heavy metals, and other contaminates is at a dispensary.

Not sure this is right for you or a loved one? Ask your doctor and research online. Already have your card? Ask your Bud Tender what they would recommend you try for your condition(s).

Some doctors are erring on the side of caution, strictly limiting opioid prescriptions. Others still hand out prescriptions like they are candy. Most doctors require you to take a drug test at every visit to insure you aren’t abusing opioids, and to insure you are taking your medication and not selling it on the street. Seriously.

We have a friend who was attacked by a dog at a shelter shortly after rotator cuff surgery. The dog flung her arm around like a rag doll. She had surgery a month ago to undo the rotator cuff surgery and next week goes to Northwestern to have her shoulder repaired. This woman has a virtual pharmacy at her house. Name an opioid, she either currently takes it or has taken it. She also has fentanyl patches and probably the MCPP card, since this pain has gone on for well over a year due to the dog attack that did so much damage to her shoulder, arm, and hand, and PTSD. The kinds and dosages of opioids is concerning.

Feel free to share this information for Illinois. Other states have other criteria, application processes, and cards for medical marijuana/cannabis. 

Don’t take my word for it, do your own research online and talk with your doctor. FYI, your doctor does not need to be a specialist treating your condition(s), it can be your primary care physician because they manage all your medical care. Your doctor does not “prescribe” certain strains or products. The Bud Tenders at the dispensaries are trained to assist you and answer your questions. Many dispensaries even have meet-ups, lunches, or classes to find out more about the products available.

End of Public Service Announcement.

Lola’s Diner cc 2008-2019

you were at my wedding Denise

Not a very strong comeback when some Denise insults you on Twitter. The person who some Denise insulted was Megan McCain. And I don’t really get it. (This was about a month ago, I forgot to post.)

Full disclosure...Denise was not at my wedding. The Denise I knew was someone I briefly dated. (Not briefly enough!) And she WAS NOT at my wedding. The Denise episode was at a not good point in my kid’s illnesses. I needed somewhere for them to be while I was at work...ONE DAY! All that was needed was keep your eyes on them, don’t let them wander off, feed them, and for the love of Pete don’t yell at them! What was wrong with her? When I went to pick them up I found my son wandering around and not doing well. My daughter gave me a full report. Denise yelled at him for not keeping up with her at the park. Really? I confirmed with her what happened and then grabbed my kids and stormed out to have her chasing me down the driveway yelling at ME. (Seriously dodged a bullet there.)

I stopped contact with her until she called one day needing a pickup from the train station after a job interview. It was only a pickup and drop off. I try to be a good person. So I did it. I pick her up and she’s got a huge bouquet of flowers she hands me. I saw where this was going and tossed them in the backseat. Didn’t look at them, didn’t read the card. I ignored them. Thankfully the pickup to drop off was a short ride.  I tried really hard to not listen to her begging to get back together. I told her no. There were no apologies for her behavior. No, are your kids ok? I dropped her off, drove to the local food pantry, removed the card and gave it to a staff member and asked them to either make someone’s day, or split it up and make several people’s day.

I really do try to be a good person. Help people out whenever I can. Just like, you do for family. But that’s just me, what my Mom and Dad instilled in me. I am old fashioned. I’m fine with that.

Lola's Diner ©2008-2019

Swipe Left or swipe right for friendship

For friendship...not dating. There are 2 apps/websites I have come across that are like the Tinder of making friends. I’ve gone on them from time to time but for whatever reason, any contact I make coincidentally stops after I send a message introducing myself. Which is odd because my profile photo is of my spouse and myself. But whateves. Haters gonna hate and I don’t want to meet anyone like that.

So the first one I tried was the website GirlfriendSocial.com and this year the app Hey! VINA-Meet New Friends. Both are the same concept, not interested, swipe left or X, interested, swipe right or ☑️. Both also “suggest” a subscription so you can use a more precise search and more access. I have NOT done a subscription for either.

GirlfriendSocial.com (GS) has icons that you select to indicate your interests. Hey Vina (HV) also does, but also had Interest Groups that let you join and let swipe people with similar interests, like cat lovers, foodies, LBGTQI, etc.

The think that creeps me out is that many, many photos are probably the same ones these women use on Tinder. They are all dolled up, provocative clothing and poses. This website and app are for women to find likeminded friends. Women to meet up for coffee, wine, go shopping, go to a paint and wine class, etc. The other thing that creeps me out are the women who use that app to add cat ears or pig noses, or whatever. How about a nice selfie that doesn’t make you look like the whore of Babylon or someone with an animal fetish? Ok, that’s harsh. But honestly, I’ve seen more cleavage on these 2 girlfriend finders than I ever did on Match.com, Plenty of Fish, and whatever other dating sites I used when I was single.

The thing about these 2 girlfriend finders is that they aren’t well known, so not a lot of women use them. Or maybe a lot more women already have friends. I was going through GS and found only 1 woman in my city. She’s 29 and her occupation is “Embalmer”. And her photo was creepy...in an ominous way after you find out her occupation.

I hadn’t been on either for awhile. I logged into HV and found a message from a woman who actually messaged me on GS last year. She stopped contact after my introduction email, so I found her message in my HV inbox odd. Anyway, I then went through the GS matches and checkmarked a bunch (GS uses X or ☑️) instead of swipe left to ditch, right to show interest. Within 10 minutes I got 1 mutual match and 1 friend request. 

It really is impossible to find friends in The Land of Ladies Who Lunch, with their Michael Kors, Dooney and Bourke, and whatever designer handbags are “in”. (Was I even close? I mean, I know Coach really isn’t “in” anymore, is it? I think I know this because I have a Coach bag. I bought it when I moved to Chicago.) I think that’s what I’ll call where I live, The Land of Ladies Who Lunch, for blogging purposes. Earlier this week I picked up a free chandelier from FB Marketplace about 5 miles from my house,in the  McMansion section. The owner Facebook friended me. I thought, what the heck, see how the Ladies Who Lunch Live. It’s been interesting looking at her feed. That’s about it, no messages since I picked up the chandelier. No big deal.

It’s really no secret that I only have screen friends, and even then it’s more acquaintances. 

I had a bunch of in person “live” friends prior to ending a relationship before I met my spouse. Out of all the people in the group only one went to Lola’s side. You know that phenomenon when a couple in a relationship of whatever sort split up, the mutual friends get split amongst them? It’s inevitable, no matter how pleasant the couple’s split is. I got 1 friend out of 60 +/-. And that friend I found out was playing both sides of the fence. This is the friend who made plans with me and then when she found a better option never bothered to tell me she was canceling. This happened a lot. This is the same friend who has resurfaced that I wrote about a few posts ago. My future sister in law.

I am horrible at trying to make new friends. I feel I am a good friend, I don’t ghost people who I’ve made plans with. I’m honest, accepting, low maintenance, non-judgemental, loyal, respectful, trustworthy. I’m a regular Cub Scout. I went through a lot of years with no friends. When I was starting my freshman year of hs and my bff since forever was in her sophomore year she actually told me that we couldn’t be friends anymore. She said it wasn’t cool for a sophomore to be friends with a freshman. Both our Mom’s, bless their hearts, tried to fix the situation, but it wasn’t to be fixed. My bff made up her mind, no freshman friends, period.

I’ve run into quite a few women whose friend cards were full. I’ve even had one say it to me. She was a co-worker. I don’t get that. I guess that’s a not very polite way of saying “I would never be friends with the likes of you.” Fine, I find the feeling mutual.

I’m finding myself becoming more interested in the AARP magazine and emails I get. I’ve pre-registered for several “Coffee Talks” in a nearby city but something always comes up and I can’t attend. I’ve even renewed my library card and uploaded all the Over 55 Coffee Meet-ups to my iPhone calendar. Again, something always comes up. My doctor appointments get changed, my daughter suddenly has one and no ride. It’s always something. One of these days I will go. 

Lola’s Diner cc 2008-2019

Pain...

Pain. 

People who haven’t lived it don’t get it. 

People can be so incredibly rude, making faces to indicate their disgust that I dare use a motorized shopping cart at the grocery store. If I don’t use it, I can’t get around past a few feet from the entrance. Same looks for using a handicapped parking space-I have a placard. Before I got it I went shopping alone one day. Parked more than 6 regular spaces down. I had my cane. I was clearly struggling to walk to the entrance. I senior gentleman was passing me in his vehicle. He said to me “you should get one of those and then pointed to a car with a handicapped placard in a handicapped parking space”. It made my day! He acknowledged my struggle and he offered me a solution.

We were invited to the Mokena Pride 12-5 today. Person would not take no for an answer. My spouse had to spell out the reasons why, some of which are:

Where is parking to proximity of the event?

What kind of seating?  Bleachers. Can’t do bleachers, no back support.

Are the grounds free of holes, divots, uneven areas? It’s not? Then no way, My spouse must step on flat/even surfaces to avoid falling or tripping and blowing out her new knees. 

Do they have wheelchairs or scooters for rental? Or free?

That’s not even close to all the issues we would have at such a venue. Person still argued and cajoled and my spouse just found a way to get off the phone. 

People don’t understand that pain is 24/7/365!

Pain is not just in private, like at only at home. 

Pain follows you wherever you go. 

They don’t understand the accommodations we have family make for us at home. 

A friend of ours recently had rotator cuff reversal surgery. She was attacked by a dog at a shelter she was donating supplies to. The dog grabbed hold of her arm with his mouth/teeth and shook her arm violently, like it was shaking a rag doll. Just prior to this she had just finished recovering from rotator cuff surgery on that arm. She has to go to Northwestern to have a specialist orthopedic surgeon re-do her rotator cuff surgery. I can’t even remember all the pain medications she takes daily. It’s a very long list. I think it’s rather shocking that she can take all those medications and still be breathing. 

My spouse is having some serious issues with her new knees (total knee replacement both knees). She has nerve pain. Bad. Her knees have been hyperextending, which sometimes causes her to lose her balance, and definitely causes her a lot of pain.

Lola’s Diner © 2008-2019