The Latest from Lola's Diner

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Why We Have No Food

I have a 14 year old son who is almost 6 feet tall (5 foot eleven and a HALF Mom!) and could double as a linebacker for the Chicago Bears. Do you have teens? Do you ever have any food in the house? It’s just so frustrating.

Leftovers – I tell him don’t touch them because that’s lunch for tomorrow for Anastasia and I. (Since she lost her job. It’s silly, but she likes to each lunch when she is home.) He hears, 'wow great! Breakfast!'

Chocolate – Anastasia and I hide it for those times when we must have chocolate or die. He can sniff it out no matter where it is. One time I hid a bag of snickers in my car in one of the door pockets, on the drivers side. He found it within 24 hours!

Now if he could use this sniffing skill for good and not evil, we’d be proud.

Lunchmeat – We can’t even buy lunchmeat on a Friday and have ANY left by Monday morning. Even if we overbuy, there is still no lunchmeat left on Monday. The more we buy, the more he eats. When he sees lunchmeat he thinks – 'Breakfast! Snack! More snack!' The ONLY lunchmeat we can keep in the house is Bologna. (He’ll only eat it if he is desperate, unfortunately, so will we.) And liver sausage. I love liver sausage as long as I have lettuce and white bread.

Hot Dogs – We stock up on them when they go on sale ridiculously cheap and we like to serve them for a quick meal when we have to run to an evening appointment or for a weekend lunch. He sees them and thinks 'after school snack!' (Yeah, 3-4 at a time WITH 3-4 slices of bread, and then he still eats a big dinner.) I know, I know. Don't write me about how unhealthy hot dogs are, when Oscar Mayers are $0.99 a package and you have a chowhound and no money, you have little choice. Everything else, save for the lunchmeat is made from scratch.

With Anastasia not working I don’t know how we are going to keep food in the house for the rest of us. A starvation diet is not what Anastasia and I had in mind for a weight loss plan.

I fear we may need to sell Junior’s spleen if he persists in this eating pattern.

Ok, maybe there isn’t a big market for teenage spleen, but I have looked into selling our plasma. Thank goodness I am medically cleared now since it’s been over a year since my blood transfusion. Maybe then I can afford to go pick up some more liver sausage.

Lola's Diner


Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you're talking about. My boy is in college but when he comes home I buy as much for the weekend as I do for 2 weeks without him. Thank goodness for dorm unlimited meal plans.

cdalkire said...

My son is also 14, 6'2" tall, skinny, and eats in surges. Some days, he will hardly eat anything, on others, he eats everything in sight. I sometimes have to remind him not to eat all of the food served for supper because my husband comes home from work late and needs to eat also. Going to the grocery is very painful.

I am Harriet said...

I have found that sending my son away to college has saved me money- like $100/week, minimum, at the grocery store.

JD at I Do Things said...

I don't have kids, but I'm pretty sure you ARE supposed to feed them. And your son sounds like the perfect demographic for hot dogs. Mmmm. And now I'm hungry for hot dogs.

Patricia said...

I think the problem is more with teenage boys. I remember what you describe with my son. With my daughter, NOTHING I bought to eat was ever satisfactory for her. A very picky eater.

Jen said...

my son is 6'4 and 240lbs. we haven't had food in years. He eats it as fast as I can buy it. Nice thing is that he isn't picky. He will eat anything and expiration dates do not deter him. I can't wait until he goes to college.

Ranran said...

Wow. Only 14 years old and already 5'11???!!

Lola said...

@ Blueviolet, I Am Harriet-I may be re-thinking his going to a local college. It could prove less expensive to send him away to college. LOL!

@ cdalkire-My son goes through periods of eating less, but they are rare.

@JD-I DO feed him, just like everyone else in this house, but he sneaks food while I'm sleeping/not looking/or away from home. I'm prayin that hot dogs go on sale again this week because he ate up all the ones I bought 2 weeks ago. I thought I'd bought enough for a month!

@ Patricia-Unfortunately I'm going broke on my daughter as well. Her medication causes her to be hungry. I try to have healthy snacks like veggies, but she also steals food.

@ Jen-Sounds just like my son, only he's slightly shorter than yours. He eats ANYTHING.

@ Ranran-I have no idea where he gets the height from. He shot up almost a foot last summer.

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