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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Ponderings on Online Dating

Ok, I think it's no secret...I'm back to online dating. (Let's face it, after the post I pulled about the "non-date", I'm more than a bit apprehensive about asking someone out face to face, or someone I know.) So I've been pouring over the ads on several sites. As I look at the photos and profiles, some thoughts come to mind:

Think about it...who actually responds to these profiles? And do they even get any responses?

1. The photo of your bare back with your arms in restraints.

2. The photo of your front business 3/4 out of your blouse.

3. The profiles with a laundry list of very specific requirements. You know the ones I mean, it's like they want an exact copy of their ex.

4. The profiles that say "No Drama" in the subject line...Seriously??? No drama? I don't think I know anyone who doesn't have some type of drama, if they don' better check for a pulse.

5. The profiles that say "No Drama" in the body of the profile and you go on and on about "no drama".

6. The photo of your face obscured or of you in the distance and really no one can make out your face.

7. The spelling errors in your profile. All of the online dating sites have spell check. It underlines the misspelled word in red, right click on it and pick the correct spelling! There is no need for spelling mistakes at all!

8. The photo of you in a suggestive pose.

9. The photo of you in a negligee, or some equally revealing attire.

10. The photo of you in a wife-beater.

Ok, one online dating story...only because I think the chick finally got a clue and I know you're dying for a story:

I was exchanging emails with this woman...let's call her Pixie. The emails started out friendly enough, exchanging basic information. Then one went on a rant about smoking. Her ex smoked and said she would be a considerate smoker and not smoke in front of her (go outside, etc.), and she reneged on her promise. After that email we talked on the phone and she called me on putting "occasional smoker" for the smoking question. She asked how "occasional". And that's where I confessed. I'm under an extreme amount of stress, and I'm dieting and now is not the time to mess with my stress or mess up my diet. I will quit, just not now and not because a "potential date" tells me to. Next day...another email rant from Pixie about smoking. That was it, I had to say something. So I wrote back "About the smoking thing, everyone is different, that's really all I can say about it. And it always seems like our ex's short-comings are amplified after the relationship." Then another email from Pixie about smoking. Then I replied that I was a considerate and honorable person and if I said I was going to smoke outside (which I did say) then that's what I would do. It was as if she was part trying to control me and part calling me a liar. It was ridiculous! And she called me after that! Twice! I did not pursue her, SHE CALLED ME! TWICE. And she's emailed a couple of times since. She did say she was going to call on Saturday, but never did. And I haven't gotten an email or call from her since. I'm guessing she got the hint!

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Anonymous said...

All I can say is, thankfully she showed some of her true colors BEFORE you went out in public with her. What a nightmare she would have been!!

I am Harriet said...

So glad to not be out there....

meleah rebeccah said...

You're braver than I am. Im too scared to ever start online dating. And this story is exactly WHY!!

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