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Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Resolutions/Goals

I don't do resolutions. To me they're just a few days or maybe weeks of keeping to your plan, whether it's weight loss or quitting smoking or whatever. If you can do them and stick with them, more power to you.

I thought this year maybe I'd make a few goals. Goals that maybe without much effort I could accomplish.
10. Figure out what "auld lang syne" means. (It means 'times gone by'.) (Looky there, I already knocked 1 off my list!)
9. Figure out what mimes are saying. (Perhaps I could become I highly paid and sought after mime interpreter.)
8. Not top Octomom. (Actually, I must admit, not having a uterus does help on this one. Not to mention being a lesbian.)
7. Not have an affair with Tiger Woods or Jon Gosselin. (Again, a no brainer...lesbian here!)
6. I will "check for paper" when entering and leaving the restroom.
5. Bring back disco. (Come on, you know you loved it!)
4. I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
3. "Role play" with Gina Gershon.
2. Live this quote from Twin Peaks: Dale Cooper: "...I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee." (Damn! I sure could go for a slice of cherry pie and a good, hot black coffee. I loved that show!)
1. Have my picture on People Of Walmart.com. Come on! It'll be a hoot! Anyone with me? Got any ideas? (Preferably something that doesn't require heels...or facial hair...or daisy dukes. Lola does not rock daisy dukes!)

(I apologize in advance to Anastasia about #3. Gina's on both our "lists" anyway, so I should be ok.)
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