Check out 17 year old me. This is my high school graduation photo. Look how I'm rockin' that perm!Dear 17 year old me:
Ok, first off, stop being so shy. Don't wait until you're almost 40 to come out of your shell.
Hello! You're GAY! Yes! Don't try to live the lie, or do what you think everyone expects of you. Be you! Wonderfully witty, strong, passionate you!
When you move to Chicago and go to The Closet, don't wimp out. You'll go several times, but don't be a chicken and leave without at least ordering a drink and hanging out. You will feel comfortable there, just give it a few minutes. Make it your hangout. Believe me, it will be worth it, it will feel like home.
Don't take what that first guy said to heart. You don't belong with men anyway and he was an a**.
Don't marry the second guy, or if you do, get out after you have your son. You will have a daughter first. A wonderful, loving daughter who is friendly and a true joy. Your son will grow up with your sense of humor. (Yes, it's a blessing, not a curse.) Get out of that marriage before it goes south, because it will go further south than you or anyone else imagined.
Don't let that 2nd woman from Michigan move in with you and the kids. It will seem wonderful at first, but turn ugly in 6 months, just like her ex told you. She will kill your self esteem and belittle you and it will take a long time to recover. Don't let her verbally beat you up and call you a bad mother. You are a wonderfully caring, hands on parent who will raise 2 great kids.
It's ok to go through that wild period after her, don't put yourself down about it. You deserve happiness, just go into it with your eyes wide open and see it for what it is, a transition.
When you meet your second partner, stay honest and stick to your guns. When she tries to convince you to stay friends with the motorcycle chick, don't do it. Only bad will come of it and you will end up regretting it the rest of your life. Think for yourself! You will know it's a bad idea, so don't let your second partner influence you.
When your second partner moves in, keep your wits about you. If something doesn't seem right, question it right away. Don't rely on her past to influence how you deal with this. She is not who she seems to be.
You will gain strength from all of your experiences, even though at the time you will think you can't get through it. You can and you will! And you will be a better person for all of it. "God doesn't give you any more than you can handle" will be a statement said to you often. BELIEVE IT! Some of it will be very difficult if you stay with him. Stay strong, keep your eye on the prize and keep that house. You will more than double your money and it will give you a fresh start.
Your daughter will go through a very rough period. You'll do the right thing. You'll advocate for her and things will turn out better than you ever expected. Stick to your guns and don't let the doctors or administration push you around. You are in the right and you know it. Stay strong!
Happiness will come. It will take awhile, be patient.
Lola's Diner ©2008-2010
5 comments:
Thanks for the link back. I love this post. If only.....
I love this post! I especially love that even though you went through some rough times you wouldn't have changed them, learned earlier from them maybe, had a little more confidence with them but you wouldn't wish them away.
Wow, what a great post. Seriously. When I saw the title, I thought to myself, Hmmm, maybe I'll do a snarky "Letter to my young self" type of post, but after reading your eloquent, lovely post, I don't think I will.
You have really gone through a lot and come through it with such a wonderful attitude. Inspiring.
I always wanted to write one of those letters but, I'd never listen to myself.
Where the heck is Lin??
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