The Latest from Lola's Diner

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Happy National Coming Out Day!

National Coming Out Day started in 1987.  For more history, see "The History of Coming Out Day" - HRC.

"Resources for coming out" - HRC.

"Coming out as a Supporter" - HRC Click the link to find out how to download HRC's "Coming out as a straight supporter - A guide to Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and Trans-gendered Americans"

To become a member of HRC, click here.

I've read on several websites that we should either wear rainbow colors, or purple.  I'm going with purple.

Lola's Diner ©2008-2012


Anonymous said...

I missed this milestone day. I wonder when I will be brave enough to come out to everyone. A few know, but not all.

Lola said...

We can only do what we feel safe doing, and that's sad. Whether it's fear of a job loss, losing a friend, or having strained relations with family. While I am out everywhere...almost, I'm not out to relatives whom I no longer see, and haven't seen in over 6 years. I don't see the point of coming out there. I'm currently trying to make new friends and answered an ad on craigslist. I came out in the 2nd or 3rd email and the response was "I have a lot of gay friends, and a lesbian friend." So I thought, "cool!" But I haven't heard from her in response to my email after that. I say her loss.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you statement. As for me it is a job loss. My family is small and scattered. Because of my traveling, have limited "close" friends. The time will come I will be able to become more open, but retirement will have to happen first.

While you meet with some negative action of others, how do you feel about being open about yourself? I always thought being a lesbian is more accepted than in my case where I am bisexual or gay.

Thank you for responding.

Lola said...

I try to always be open about myself. I was fortunate to work for several years at a real estate company where over 90% of the agents were gay. In fact, my supervisor came out during the interview and mentioned that fact and said whoever they hired had to be comfortable working among so many gay people. Perfect opportunity for me to come out and it probably helped seal the deal in my getting the job. I also had excellent recommendations from a different location of the same company, but it certainly didn't hurt to come out. My job previous to that however, I think I lost partly because I brought my then partner to the holiday party. Even though I never mixed pronouns, no one had a clue until then, and then the atmosphere in the office clearly changed. Where I work now I don't mix pronouns, I talk about my girlfriend all the time to co-workers. It's comfortable.

I would agree that bisexuals have a harder time. There seems to be a stigma. Most lesbians won't date them, I don't know what it's like for males, but the bottom line is lesbians want you to pick a team. They don't want to compete with men, and they don't want to lose their lady to a man. It seems to be high drama whenever anyone in an LGBT group comes out as bisexual.

Anonymous said...

I worked in law enforcement and then the military in the 70's. Needless to say, no way can you be out about yourself. From their I was in manufacturing for 25 years and now construction for the past 8. Even though they say 1 out of 10 is LGBT, the industry does not support coming out.

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