The Latest from Lola's Diner

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Being that St. Patrick's Day is coming up, and that some of us like to celebrate early, I thought I'd post this a little early.

Anastasia and I are both Irish. In theory, we should both be serious drinkers, however we are not. I'm not trying to perpetuate a negative stereotype, I'm just saying, within our own families I am stating a fact. In any case, in the years that I have known Anastasia I have never been drunk, and I had only seen Anastasia drunk once. I have always been the designated driver when we go to parties. I'm a firm believer in not drinking at all if you are getting behind the wheel.

One Friday night almost 2 years ago, Anastasia went out with a group of friends for a going away party. Around 11pm she phoned me quite drunk and apologetic and asked me to come get her. She told me that she was afraid to call, but didn't feel safe to drive. I told her I was glad that she was smart enough to call me she should never be afraid to call.

I got there and went to the bar to make sure that it was ok to leave Anastasia's car. Then I met up with her. Anastasia is a fun drunk. Thank goodness! I don't know why I wouldn't think she would be, she's so much fun sober! Never having seen her drunk before I didn't know what to expect. Before she got in my car I told her that I had 3 rules she had to promise to abide by. They are:
1. No yelling. (I've seen way too many drunks yell and be loud and I wasn't familiar with the area and wasn't going to tolerate yelling while I tried to navigate our way home.)
2. No crying. (There is nothing worse than a crying drunk.)
3. No pukin on the leather seats. (Ok, there is something worse than a crying drunk.) If you have to puke, even if you get the slightest feeling, tell me right away so I can pull over.
I thought Anastasia was going to wet herself from laughing. I was completely serious.

Anyway, we started heading towards home and Anastasia insisted I stop at a McDonald's drive thru because she hadn't eaten. Hmm, could that be why she was soooo drunk? She asks me to order her a quarter pounder and a Fruitopia drink. Uhh, no freakin way am I ordering you a Fruitopia. A drink that is red and sugary when you are drunk and have an empty stomach? Red stains. No freakin Fruitopia for you. You'll be having a Sprite.

It was a long ride home from Oak Brook. There was much laughter, no crying. The next day she had quite the hangover. We woke up the kids and everyone got dressed and we headed out to go get her car. We used it as a teaching lesson for the kids about drinking and driving. I told them if Anastasia or either one of you call me to come get you because you have been drinking I will come get you and I will not yell at you. It is about being SAFE. It's not about bothering me or taking me away from what I was doing. I have to say that I think the whole event made quite an impression on the kids. It's just too bad that Anastasia had to deal with that nasty hangover to teach them the lesson.

To this day anytime we see Fruitopia Anastasia and I laugh our arses off, remembering that night. No freakin' Fruitopia for you!

If you go out to celebrate on St. Patrick's Day or any other day designate a driver. If you've been drinking, don't drive. Phone a friend, family member or a cab. You might think your friend or family member will be angry with you, but if they are good people they will be glad you called. I'm not saying they won't be angry with you the next day, but at least you will have gotten home safe and everyone in your path will have as well.


Lola's Diner


irel said...

I will have my part in St. Patty's day by watching Boondocks saints again:) (yes just another excuse to see Sean Patrick Flannery!)

Robin said...

When I was younger I used to be one of the many who suddenly became Irish on St Patty's Day - any excuse for a party! It's funny how times have changed (for the better) because back in those days we used to drink and drive because we were too drunk to walk!

Lola said...

Oddly enough, I don't think I've ever over-celebrated on St. Patrick's Day. I've had green beer once and I thought it tasted odd. I don't know if they used the cheapest beer or what, it just tasted off. I haven't touched it since. I could go for a Guiness though, I haven't had one in years.

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