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Friday, July 17, 2009

first lesbian in space

I bet you saw that in your reader and clicked on it first.

We were talking about the historic anniversary of the lunar landing and watching Letterman Friday night.

Letterman did a spoof and we all were laughing and our son was saying it was disrespectful to be laughing at the spoof.

We continued to laugh.

His counter to our laughing was, “what if you were the first lesbian in space?”
I think he had us there.

Lola's Diner



Time For A Question - From Ann

What is one of the strangest dreams you've ever had?
I had one that guest starred Tom Hanks as my gym teacher. Yup. That one was a doozie! Lola's gym teacher was Tom Hanks! He was dressed in grey sweats and had a whistle hanging around his neck. It was the time in gym class that all the fat kids hated (well, we really hated all parts of gym, except for maybe Tennis or Volleyball). It was the part where you had to climb the rope to the gym ceiling. All the other kids (read skinny kids) climbed up and down the ropes quickly. He's blowing his whistle and telling the kids to climb faster. Finally it was just me and one other kid left. Then the gym teacher (played by Tom Hanks) pulls out a shotgun. The other kid struggles (Tom Hanks is furiously yelling and whistling for him to "move it, move it, move it")but gets up the rope eventually. The next thing I know Tom Hanks fires a warning shot (yes! Inside the gym!) and I am grabbing at the rope, struggling. I also notice as I get a foot or so above the ground that there is a noose tied around my neck. (Yes! A noose!) So Tom Hanks has this rifle pointed at me telling me to climb, I can't climb because I'm a fat chick, but I have to do something, hang on for dear life because if I let go the noose will strangle me, if I try to climb and slip, the noose will strangle me. If I don't climb, Tom Hanks will shoot me. Then I woke up. After a little analysis of the dream and my life at the time I figured the dream meant "damned if you do, damned if you don't". I was a supervisor at a small accounting office and my boss was a bear. No matter how I tried to anticipate what he wanted or how he wanted things done, it wasn't right. I think the dream pretty much summed up my life at the time.

What is a weird dream of yours? I bet there are some doozies!!

Lola's Diner

big willie - not!

By now I'm sure everyone has heard that the Sears Tower has been renamed by it's new owners. Goodbye, Sears Tower; Hello, Willis Tower. Joseph Plumeri, chairman of Willis Group Holdings Ltd. as part of a speech at the renaming said 'you can call it Big Willie, in fact I encourage you to call it Big Willie', referring to Sears Tower.

Umm, noooooo!

I'm not calling anything Big Willie!
Am I the only one that thought that the chairman looked like some big mafioso? (Not that there is anything wrong with looking like one of Tony Soprano's sidekicks.) I mean, the minute I saw him, that thought came to me. Then on the 10pm news when they showed the portion of his speech where he referred to a piece of paper that his Italian mother wanted him to read during the renaming. That pretty much clinched it.

What about you? Are you going to be calling it Big Willie?

Lola's Diner

Thursday, July 16, 2009

If I Could Blog Back Time Thursdays - School Dance

Come join me for a very special edition of If I Could Blog Back Time Thursdays! We'll be taking time out to share some memories. We'll Blog Back Time with possible ways to right past wrongs or about how times have changed. We'll share childhood memories, school/work memories, family and friend memories.
Today's topic is: School Dance
What was your first school dance? Or memorable Homecoming Dance or Prom? Tell us about it. And if you've got photos of the event, post them.
I remember in 7th grade, for whatever reason I had to 'experience' my first school dance. Maybe it was because in the 7th grade was when school dances began. I don't know, but I had to be there. No reason other than that. It took a whole lot of coaxing to get my Dad to agree to pick me up after the dance. I really didn't have any friends in the 7th grade, so it wasn't like I was going to hang out with anyone. I guess it was my first official people watching event.

Can I say what a bore? I guess it was pretty cool that we got to listen to "our" music in that junior high gym, but other than that, what a snoozefest. All the popular girls hung together in a group. All the popular boys hung together in another group and us nerd/geek/unpopulars were individually dispersed throughout the gym. Some girls danced in groups. The few kids that were 'couples' in school danced when there was the slow dance, but other than that the boys and girls didn't mix.

My only other 'almost' experience with a school dance was freshman year Homecoming. Kyle used to sit with me at the cafeteria all the time and leer at me and tell jokes. I didn't invite him, and if I tried to change tables he'd follow me. I couldn't lose him if I tried. And believe me, I tried. He was always trying to peer down my flannel shirt. (Flannel shirts and Levi's where 'the' uniform back in the day.) By the time lunch was over I would have my shirt buttoned all the way to the neck. Since Kyle cracked jokes the whole lunch period, dodging his leers wasn't without entertainment. Kyle asked me to the Homecoming dance. (Part of me thought it was a joke.) I had to decline because my Aunt was getting married that day. I think he was genuinely disappointed.

Years later my bff told me that Kyle's picture was in the newspaper when Wisconsin had one of their huge snowstorms about 10 years ago. I told her about Kyle asking me to the dance. It seems he asked her too, but I'm not sure if it was to the same dance. That's not the unusual part of this story. Kyle was photographed shoveling with another man trying to dig out their car on the east side of Milwaukee. The caption read "Kyle (last name) and his partner (so and so)..." Kyle is gay. Small world, huh?

Please post your "School Dance Memory" on your blog. Then come back to Lola's Diner and leave the actual post link here. Please grab the html code for If I Could Blog Back Time Thursdays! Badge HERE.

Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!



Lola's Diner

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

stray cat strut

Sunday night while I sat out on our porch for over an hour a stray gray kitten came and joined those of us on the porch and kept weaving herself in between our legs. At one point, when the screen door was left open just long enough, she even ran into our house.

Monday morning we heard an awfully loud and insistent meowing at the front door. It was our little friend. Seeing an awesome blog opportunity, I grabbed my Flip and began taking video until our daughter's bus came and then went inside. The loud, insistent meowing began again and she climbed to the top of the green chair you see in the video and peered her head into the window pane of the screen door. It would have been an adorable photo, but I couldn't grab my camera fast enough. Anyway, here is the video. My apologies for the hack editing. This was my first time using Windows Movie Maker. (It only took me an hour after I got my storyboard set to figure out what format to publish it in. Then it took forever to upload on YouTube.) Enjoy!

I ran our son to golf lessons, came home and kitty was not to be found. When I went to leave to retrieve our son I saw Drummer Boy, aka Metallica-head straddling a bicycle, on Mr. Friendly's driveway talking to Mr. Friendly.

On his shoulder was perched guess who?

Kitty! (No wonder Kitty kept walking on the deck railing up to my shoulder, he apparently trained her to perch on his shoulder like a freakin' monkey!)

I was on the porch mere moments and then he spoke to me in a lazy, scary, psycho kind of drawl, "you wanna kitty?" (pause) "I can give ya some cat food if ya want 'er." I just chuckled nervously (read snickered) and high-tailed it to my car. We haven't seen Kitty since, but our family has seen a whole litter of kittens on his property at various time over the past 3 days.

We're kind of tempted to take one of them, but with the cost of shots and what have you, it's giving us second thoughts. She's awfully adorable, isn't she? She so reminds me of when Sophie was a kitten.
So, what would you name this curious kitty?
Please post a suggestion in the comments.
Lola's Diner

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Major Award

I was so excited this morning when our mail carrier came early and actually got out of the truck. She was carry this package:
Hmm, wonder who the package is for? Ooh, ooh, ooh! It's for me and it's from my blogger pally Lin @ Duck And Wheel With String. It must be my Major Award for my Dork-Off win on her blog.

My daughter was home a 1/2 day from summer school and saw the box and asked who sent me cheese. Lol!

I opened the box to find an Isabel Bloom Garden Toad pally! I absolutely love it.
I just want to thank Lin for starting me on what will likely be a new obsession. (Anastasia will be thanking you later. Lol!)

P.S. This is a trillion times better than a leg lamp. (Even though the leg lamp does have fishnet stockings.) The frog pally is way cooler.

Thanks Lin!

Lola's Diner

Rant and WTH?

Ok, I think it's pretty safe to post this because the people involved don't read my blog.

Today was Anastasia's Mom's Birthday. So all the kids took her out to lunch. Anastasia called me in the middle of my running around day to invite me. (This is not the rant, this is the lead in to the WTF.)

So, everything is cool, her brothers and sisters are always nice. So drinks and appetizers are ordered, but the appetizers haven't arrived yet. Anastasia steps out with some of her sibs for a smoke. I'm seated 2 seats away from one of her brothers. The other seats are empty. All of a sudden he calls to name...

not my name...
wait for it...
are you ready for it?

He calls to me using Anastasia's ex-partner's name. YES! It took me a moment to process it. At first I couldn't figure out who he was talking to. I just stared at him and he stared back with this duh look as if to say, why didn't you answer the first time. Seriously! Then I finally realized he was talking to me! (You talkin' to me? Lol!) I thought maybe if I stared a bit longer he'd realize his mistake, but he didn't. WTF? Anastasia hasn't been with that ho for 8 years. We've been together 5 years. I'm at every family function. How do you make that mistake?

See kids! Alcohol kills brain cells!

You know how when you go out in a group there is sometimes discontent about splitting up the bill for a large group? Yeah, ahh, we got some discontent here. Anastasia and I had the $5 lunch special with iced tea, some had steak dinners and they all drank like fishes. Some having 5 cocktails before the appetizers arrived! Are you seeing where this is going? Yes, they split the bill equally. I told Anastasia next time I'm having the Prime Rib. Or perhaps I should have done what a co-worker used to do at corporate lunches and order a meal to go for my son who was at home eating pb&j for lunch.

(Ok, I'm still chanting - But Anastasia and I got to spend the afternoon together without the kids. But Anastasia and I got to spend the afternoon together without the kids. But Anastasia and I got to spend the afternoon together without the kids.)

Lola's Diner

Monday, July 13, 2009

dorks r us!

Yeah, I'm not sure why I'm even posting this, other than to prove once and for all that I was truly, truly deserving to have won Lin at Duck And Wheel With String's Dork-Off contest. I mean, seriously, I campaigned for it. That should have told you something right there.

But wait there is more. Remember my post where I talked about my computer mysteriously shutting off and then not turning back on again? And how I made made a late night call to HP tech support and performed brain surgery on my laptop. And how the next day I made a trip to the Geek Squad at Best Buy and how the guy just plugged it in and it turned on just like that! You know, just like when you have that noise in your car and you bring it to the repair shop and the car geek guy takes it for a spin and doesn't hear it? Like that!

Well, it happened again Saturday night! I thought it may have been because I had inadvertently left the laptop on while my daughter and I went to the banquet. I thought maybe it got to hot, so I let it cool for awhile. Then I put the battery in, nothing. Tried hitting the F'keys like I remember the HP tech told me to the first time. I even re-seated the Ram card. Nothing! As I was on hold for the Geek Squad I told my daughter to plug the power cord into a different outlet. In order to do this I had to move the power cord from the left of me to the right of me.


Wait for it...
The cord was disconnected from the power supply thingy (where I have written "Plug in Here" on my high tech diagram). Yeah, I had it plugged into my computer and plugged into the wall socket, however both were no longer connected to each other! Somehow it wiggled lose and disconnected. I quickly re-connected them, tried to turn it on and wah lah! It turned on! I immediately hung up on the Geek Squad (I wasn't rude...I was still on hold and hadn't yet spoken to a live person.)

Is that dorky or what?

What dorky thing will you admit you've done lately? Grab the I'm A Dork Badge here, and post your dork story on your blog.
Come on...I know I'm not the only one.
(Please...don't let me be the only one!)
(I'm serious!)
Lola's Diner

A Local Running of the Bulls?

I didn't believe this at first, but there was a "large black bull running loose" around Jackson and Henderson Streets" in Joliet, IL, about 12:30 a.m Sunday. Seriously!

We had our own little running of the bulls. (Ok, it was one, but seriously, how often do you see a real live 700 pound black bull running around in the city?) Thankfully no one was hurt.

Bull Caught In Joliet Neighborhood.

Turns out the bull belonged to a farm on Gouger Road. The alleged owner has to show proof of ownership of the bull that he says he imported from Mexico.
(Photo from the running of the bulls in Spain.)
How cool would it have been if someone would have taken a photo of the bull that ran around Joliet?

No word on if anyone was seen running ahead of the bull wearing white and carrying a red flag.

Lola's Diner

Sunday, July 12, 2009

why haven't I heard?

I feel like I've been living under a rock. Creed's Scott Stapp Calls Reunion "A Renewing and Rebirth". I'm on the internet all the time, and this is the first I've heard? Creed is getting back together? Awesome. They have a new album coming out August 25th, "Full Circle". (Look I still use the world album! Isn't that so old school? I meant cd.) I rarely by cd's anymore, but I think this is one I will run out and buy.

Here is video of the reunited Creed.

I know, kind of weird, a 40 something (yes, I can still say that for a couple more years!) who likes Creed. It's kind of grunge music, but then my music tastes are quite varied. The "My Own Prison" cd really spoke to me. I didn't discover it right away, but as odd as it sounds, it really empowered me. I found it at a time where my life was really in turmoil. I have all 3 of their cds and I just came across them in a box in storage.

Lola's Diner

Happy Birthday to Richard Simmons!

Richard Simmons turns 61 today! Happy Birthday!

If you don't know who he is, you are either too young or you've lived under a rock since the 80's. Richard Simmons is the flamboyant, high-energy, motivational weight, dolphin shorts wearing weight loss guru. He had his own weight loss plan, remember Deal A Meal? And he had his own video series "Sweatin' to the Oldies" (now on DVD) which featured actual, life size fat people. He did not have the skinny people seen on other exercise tapes or programs. He chose real plus sized people, like me, in his tapes and programs.

He now has a new weight loss program called Food Mover Program 2009.

Richard has his own website, Richard and is currently campaigning to get Physical Education into the No Child Left Behind Act.

This video is from 01/10/08:

Lola's Diner
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