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Friday, March 27, 2009

My Fifth Conversation 10 Months - 10 Lives Challenge

Some of you may recall my previous posts on the 10 Month - 10 Lives Challenge.
Join The Impact says “Join us in a challenge over the next 10 months that will make an IMPACT. 10 months - 10 lives changed. Everyone in this movement must help keep the conversation going.
"We are asking each and every one of you to engage in 10 conversations with someone who does not understand our struggle and help them to see our point of view. We are not asking that you try to infringe on or disrespect their beliefs. Change can not occur with insult, it will only occur with respect. If all of us work hard to positively affect 10 lives, we can change this entire nation!"
If you missed my original posts, be sure to click on each to view them:
It's time for my Fifth Conversation of the 10 Month - 10 Lives Challenge. For this 5th conversation I decided to interview a blogger buddy of mine, Melissa at Why Be Normal. Melissa lives in Massachusetts and is happily married to her wife. They just welcomed the newest edition to their family, a daughter, last week. Congratulations to Melissa and her wife. Since I live in Illinois and I cannot marry, I thought I would interview Melissa who is married to her same sex partner in Massachusetts.
Growing up, did you always know you wanted a wedding? If you mean, did I picture myself in a beautiful white dress? No. I didn't play wedding as a little girl even though I have three sisters. We built ramps for our bikes and took our bikes apart when they needed to be fixed.
When you realized you were a lesbian, did that at all change your ideas on marriage? Not at the time. I was so infatuated with this woman that I wasn't thinking about the wedding.
When did you meet your wife? Was it before Gay Marriage became legal or after? I met my wife in 1998, six years before it became legal to marry her in Massachusetts.
Can I ask what kind of wedding it was? Small, large? Please describe. Our wedding was as small as it could be. Us, a justice of the peace and a friend to take pictures. I wanted a big wedding and she didn't. She won.
Why was it important to you and your wife to get married? To validate our relationship, to prove that our relationship mattered as much as all the other married people. Because we are two committed (or commitable) people who wanted to be married.
Have there been any circumstances in your life that have prompted you to say how fortunate you are that Gay Marriage is allowed in Massachusetts? Yes. First, our daughter is due on April 15. I will be able to sign the birth certificate as parent #2 without any need to file adoption papers. Second, when I witnessed two women from New York get married a few months ago. They have been together for forty years and were finally married. It was the most incredible thing I've witnessed and sad at the same time because they had to come from New York to validate their commitment to each other. Update: Melissa’s wife gave birth to their daughter last week. Read about it here: Why Be Normal? - Finally A New Mother.
What are some of the civil rights that are afforded you by being married in Massachusetts? Health insurance benefits (although many employers do offer same sex partner benefits), we file taxes married in the state, single federally, the ability to sign the birth certificate as the other parent, all the rights for other married couples.
I’ve read that in 2012 that there may be another move in Massachusetts to define marriage as between a man and a woman. (I think that may be when the next Massachusetts Constitutional Convention may be.) Your thoughts? They've tried already and were shot down when marriage between gays and lesbians became legal. I think they're are too many liberal voters in Massachusetts that aren't going to let this happen. We're a small state with many reputable colleges which I think helps. Few young people are against gay marriage and in fact don't understand why it's a battle in the first place.
Have you personally or do you know any other Gay married couples who have run into a kind of double standard or a continued discrimination by the community because of your married status? All of my gay/lesbian friends in the area are married or engaged. The community I live in is very progressive and I haven't experienced any continued discrimination nor have I been told of any by my friends. I think as a married lesbian, I am the one who discriminates against myself, calling my wife my spouse instead of wife, because I get nervous around other people sometimes.
What do you say to people who say that Gay Marriage will encourage people to be gay? Now that Gay Marriage has been legal for almost 5 years, have you seen this to be true in Massachusetts? Of course, this is how we recruit! Honestly, think about how hard your parents tried to make you straight. Did that work?
What do you say to people that say straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay Marriage were allowed? I say that 50% of straight marriages currently end in divorce. There is nothing meaningful about those statistics.
What do you say to people that say that same-sex marriage would threaten the institution of marriage? Ditto, answer above.
What do you say to people that say that same-sex marriage would start us down a "slippery slope" towards legalized incest, bestial marriage, polygamy and all kinds of other horrible consequences? I've seen this argument many times. Did people feel the same way when interracial marriages were not allowed? Probably. Marrying someone of the same sex is far different than marrying your sister or pet, although for some people, if they married their pet, at least they couldn't procreate.
Now that Gay Marriage has been legal in Massachusetts for almost 5 years, have you noticed any of these horrible consequences running rampant in Massachusetts? Yeah, all of these crazy married lesbians are bringing their happy families to the softball games. Ten years ago, there wasn't a pack and play to be seen, now the fields are overrun with babysitters, strollers and children, laughing and smiling while they watch their mother's play softball.
What do you say to people that say that Gay Marriage will change the foundation of society? We've already been creating families for a very long time. Of course the foundation of society will change some, but some change is good.
What do you say to people that say that granting gays the right to marry is a "special" right? I'd say that marriage should be considered a special right for everyone. Maybe if we all took marriage a little more seriously, our families wouldn't be falling apart and our children wouldn't have to live in two homes.
Do you think we’ll see Federally recognized Gay Marriage (or some other terminology that affords Gays and Lesbians the same civil rights as marriage) in our lifetime? I hope so. I never thought I'd see the right to marry and even with George Bush in office we were granted that right here. My wife makes 5 or 6 times my income, so I hope to someday collect her social security (if something happens to her first) or I'll be a little old lady without a pot to piss in. One state at a time, but I believe it will come eventually.

Thank you to Melissa at Why Be Normal for taking the time for this interview.

Lola's Diner

Lola's Diner Is A Blazing Hot Blog

I am so honored. Rick over at Blazing Hot Blogs sent me an email letting me know I am being featured on his website today.

From his site: "This site is dedicated to featuring Outstanding blogs. Fresh, relevant content will be featured here. New blogs will be reviewed and selected for posting." If you have a blog you would like to submit, he has a link to submit your recommendation. Which leads me to ponder...did Rick just stumble across my blog, or did one of my wonderful readers recommend me? In any case, to cover all my bases, I'll say thank you to Rick and my secret admirer.

Go check out Blazing Hot Blogs and find out what he says about Lola's Diner.

Lola's Diner

Maury Says...Alfie...You Are Not The Father

DNA Tests Show 13 Year Old Isn't A Dad. Did you hear about this British boy, Alfie who claimed at 12 years old to have fathered the child of his 14 year old girlfriend?

I didn't really believe the article about the boy when it first ran. Now I'm shocked to find out that the parents of the girl "said they let the lad spend the night with their daughter, who was 14 at the time, at their public housing unit near Eastbourne, 70 miles southeast of London."

Who lets a 12 year old boy and a 14 year old girl have a sleepover?

"Alfie's father, who reportedly has nine or 10 children of his own, gamely promised to have a "birds and the bees" chat with his son." Nine or 10? That could lead the reader to assume that it's uncertain, leading the reader to suppose that perhaps there is more than 1 mother.

It's no wonder that "Sir Bernard Ingham, once press secretary to former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, told the Associated Press that people from across Britain's political spectrum are in despair over the country's social breakdown." I want to know, how it took them so long to notice.

Lola's Diner

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Can I say how much I despise these HD converters? It’s like watching Directv in a thunderstorm. All the time! They pixilate and lose the signal constantly. I don’t know about you, but satellite and cable television are out of my budget. Besides, they are the ones we have to thank for this HD switch. They lobbied Congress for it, no doubt to gain subscribers. Don’t believe me, read Directv Lobbied Over 1 Million USD On Digital TV Switch. And while I’m ranting about that, why can’t I freakin watch Channel 2. It is a local channel in Chicago.

I figured out part of my son’s eating binges. The lunch police at school called me Tuesday to inform me that he hasn’t eaten the school lunch all this month because he didn’t turn in his lunch form. Hmm, perhaps that explains the 4 peanut butter sandwiches after school? I talked to them and they will serve him the rest of the month, but he will not get his choice. I also made sure he turned in the April form. Wednesday afternoon I asked him to make me a peanut butter sandwich because I forgot to eat lunch and was hungry. He did, but it was crustless. I don’t do crustless. When I asked him why he removed the crust, he said it was because he was hungry and he ate it!

Why didn’t I download Entrebar before Tuesday night? It saves so much time. What was I thinking? I drop on Lola's Diner and on Anastasia’s Fire Crotch Rocket and I can get both done and still read a lot of blogs in less time than it took for me to just handle Lola's Diner's drops and reads. I will soon be dropping on my new blog, to be announced soon. One of my stalkers (who shall remain nameless because I don't want to embarrass them) discovered it, but I won’t be launching until closer to the end of March.

Valerie Bertinelli is hot. But she's always been hot, no matter the extra pounds. Sadly, I think she's going to go the way of Kirstey Alley. She is sooo going to be sorry she did the bikini photo shoot because the rags are going to hound her when she gains back the weight.

Olympic Committee Visit: Chicago Police Union May Picket During IOC Visit. Isn't that special? As if Chicago isn't already an embarrassment what with the Blagojevich business. Let's cause more embarrassment for our city and state.

Speaking of the embarrassment with the Blagojevich business, Sun Times Michael Sneed writes that Blagojevich may be getting his own reality show. Blago Focuses On Own Tv Show.
My questions is, whose reality? His? Or ours? Rimshot!
Lola's Diner

What Do You Think Of Rocky Horror Picture Show?

I had to laugh when I read a comment on Lilaphase's post I Fart In Your General Direction.... The Comment was from Margo at Life In The Short Lane. The post was about the play, Spamalot. The Comment was "I love Spamalot and have decided it's a pretty good gauge on how uptight people are or are not to the degree that they did or didn't like it." It may be today's gauge, but I believe that Rocky Horror Picture Show is a the ultimate gauge on how uptight people are or are not based on the degree they liked it or not.

Have you seen Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Or should I say, have you 'experienced' Rocky Horror Picture Show? For those unfamiliar, here is the Plot Summary.

The audience of the Rocky Horror Picture Show does not just sit quietly and politely watch the show. They are part of the show. There is a heck of a lot of audience participation. Check out this audience participation script.

If you've never been, it's quite an experience. I remember the first time I went, I was a bit shocked. It was at the gorgeous Oriental Theatre in Milwaukee. They've been showing Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Oriental Theatre since 1978. In fact, it's still showing there the second Saturday of every month. People were dressed up in full Rocky Horror attire. Men in fishnet stockings. Buff and not so buff men in what can only be described as gold speedos. It was a sight. The show starts, people yell back at the screen, throw toast, dance in the aisles. It's wild. If you've never been, check out your local movie theater listings for late night showings on the weekend.

For the uninitiated it can be quite shocking. I had an Aunt whose co-workers talked about the movie all the time and she kept saying how she wanted to go. I don't know why I did it, but I did. I volunteered to take her. All I have to say is, if you ever want to alienate an elder relative, be sure to take them to Rocky Horror Picture Show! My Aunt did not say a word after the show. Not a single word the whole ride from the East Side of Milwaukee to her home in Bay View. In fact she never said much to me for the longest time after that. But hey, she INSISTED she wanted to go, right?

On another occasion, I brought another uninitiated person who insisted I take them. This was my very straight-laced, Christian, conservative, goody two shoes bff. (Not that there is anything wrong with very straight-laced, Christian, conservative, goody two shoes. I'm just trying to paint a picture for you of how virginal and naive she was.) I still wonder how she didn't get up and walk out of the movie. I think perhaps she was paralyzed from shock.

If you're thinking, gee, this sounds interesting, why don't I rent this? Umm, don't. You need the theater experience. It's just not the same at home.

It's fun, it's campy, it's a celebration! You just won't get the over all feel in your own living room...Unless you invite over 20 of your bff's and have them dress in formal Rocky Horror Picture Show attire. Just be sure to tell them to bring their own toast.

Lola's Diner

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Time Flies

It went by almost without notice. Monday's post was my 200th post. Woo Hoo!

Thank you to all my faithful regulars!!! And welcome to all my new visitors!

Lola's Diner

Monday, March 23, 2009

Friends Award

I just wanted to give a shout out to John @ Gay Dads In Munchkin Land. Thank you so much! You really made my day.

The award is described as thus:

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

I am passing this award on to the following 8 blogs I enjoy every day.

1. Jo @ Life’s Perfect Pictures
2. Harriet @ I Am Harriet
3. Lin @ Duck And Wheel With String
4. Kirsten @ The Soccer Mom Files
5. Margo at Life In The Short Lane
6. Lynne @ Life After Work
7. Melissa @ Why Be Normal?
8. Jodi @ Jodi's Journey

Stop by these great blogs and check them out.

Lola's Diner
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