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Tuesday, October 17, 2017


By now everyone on earth has heard about Harvey Weinstein. So many actresses have come forward in interviews and op-ed pieces in several publications.

I read on Red Head Ranting about the "#Me Too" Status Update. It was the first I have heard about it. It was also the first I have heard about women shutting down straight men and gay men who tried to tell their stories of rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse.  Some women said "It's not your time to speak." Or 'It's not about you, it's about women right now.' 

Anyone who chooses to speak to someone about their rape, sexual assault, or sexual abuse should be RESPECTED. This is not something easy to confide in to someone. To me, this attitude of 'it's not your time' and 'it's about women now' just divides us all even more. Haven't we had enough with all the other disrespect going on? How about some empathy, some compassion? It seems like whatever is going on in the media, whatever it is, it is there to cause derision, to separate us, to pit one group against another. 

Thankfully I, myself, am not a part of "#Me Too", however, my daughter is. It happened when she was 11. She brought it up this weekend. She's having flashbacks. 

Anyone reading this, your takeaway from this post should be, not only to respect another's decision to make such a personal disclosure, but also:  maintain appropriate supervision over your children at all times when they are in your care. This did not happen on my watch, but you knew that. It broke my heart when she first disclosed this in therapy. I was there with her through the entire police investigation. I waited for her on the long visits with  the Children's Advocacy Center. I am there for her now, I will always be there for both my children.

Anyone who reveals their story of rape, sexual assault, or sexual abuse should be treated with empathy and compassion, nothing less. This is something that anyone who experiences it, carries it with them their entire life. It shouldn't matter their gender or gender identity. It also shouldn't matter whether they are straight, LGBTQ, or are a man being raped, sexually assaulted, or sexually abused by a woman.

Anyone reading who has experienced this, I am so sorry this happened to you. If you need help dealing with it, see a counselor or therapist. Your insurance may cover it with a small co-pay. Some practices can bill on a sliding scale based on your income. In some instances your county health department may have counselors or therapists you can see at little or no cost to you, depending on your income. 

No one should suffer in silence and no one should be marginalized because their story is not of the heterosexual, man attacks woman variety.

Lola's Diner ©2008-2017

Nov 28, 2014 Was my last blog post-UPDATE

Needless to say, much has gone on since that Thanksgiving post. Let's update til today, one by one.

My partner and I got married 2 years ago this month. The ceremony was beautiful.  It was outdoors at a local Conservatory in front of the gazebo with lush fall colors in the background. We are both Irish, so I hired a bagpiper. They may be more Scottish, but we really loved it. It made the day more unique. When was the last time you saw a bagpiper at a wedding? We also had a wonderful vocalist who sang Sarah Bareilles' "I Chose You".  It was beautiful. We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary, cotton. I made this to commemorate the day:

My wife works part time as a hostess and banquet coordinator. She loves dealing with the public, but at times it can be aggravating. She is dragging her feet on double knee replacement surgery. (Been delaying it since she blew out both knees playing softball in high school.) I purchased a van for my wife. Dealer screwed us over and hid the fact that the transmission was bad, so it been sitting in the driveway for months, which kills me because I'm making payments on it.

My daughter moved into a group home and has been upgraded to the 2nd floor which means she is capable of more independence. She had a boyfriend for a little over a year (more on that to follow). She started a part-time job about a month ago, she's rockin' it and loves it. She is a bagger/greeter. Yesterday she broke up with her boyfriend and I couldn't be more proud. On her own she decided to talk to staff at her day program for advice and a heads-up for her counselor and his. When your boyfriend starts holding hands and kissing other young ladies in the group, it's definitely decision time. She came to the decision on her own, and only discussed it briefly on her short weekend visit. Oh, and I forgot to mention, not even 6 hours after she broke up with him her bff texts her saying she wants to date him! What happens to the sister/bro code? Aren't wou supposed to wait a month? Or at least 2 weeks. My daughter texted her back saying it was cool with her, but she doesn't want to hear any details. My thought is my daughter figures the faster he moved on, the better things will go. No wanting to get back to her or stalking her because he's already "involved".  I say you go girl! Way to figure out the silver lining!

My son graduated from his extended high school program which includes vocational/technical training. He misses it, but is doing well at home helping me, making meals and doing chores while I direct him. We will be placing him in a day program, but first we want to resolve some issues we have with her provider of services.

Kitty cats are doing well. Goofy as ever.

No photos of My wife's cat, that cat has attitude, getting a photo can take forever. Lol!

Lola's Diner ©2008-2017
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