Job Hunt Frustrations and Giggles

Looking for any kind of job in this economy is tough and some of the tools that are meant to make the process easier can cause extreme frustration. One of the examples of that would be the "Saved Email Job Alert". If you're not familiar, that is where you type in a job title, city and state, and number of miles to search from that area. Every morning I have a bajillion Job Alerts in my email box. Many of them are about as useful as a sixth toe. My Job Alerts are geared toward my area of expertise which is Accounting/Bookkeeping and I have several set up for the various Accounting Job Titles, like Accountant, Accounting Assistant, Accounts Payable, Bookkeeper, and others. I also have Job Alerts set up for Administrative Assistant/Secretary. Here's a short list of my frustrations with the Job Alerts:

1. Job listings that have nothing to do with my career whatsoever. Like:

Executive Chef
Chef
Catering Sous Chef
Yes, this is Lola's Diner, and I'm an excellent cook (almost knocks self over patting self on back), but that is not my career, nor does it have anything to do with the job I entered when set up the Job Alert.
Dental Assistant | Training Available
Medical Biller/Coder | Entry Level - Training Available
"Training Available" in the header of a post means this is a school and they want you to attend their school. It is not a job listing, and they do not offer, nor guarantee you a job. Not only that, it is not my career, nor does it have anything to do with the job I entered when I set up the Job Alert.
Medical Transcriptionists Tired of the Same Old Grind
Ok, I will steer clear of the lesbian jokes.
Registered Nurse - RN
Licensed Practical Nurse
Medical Assistant Instructor
Nothing in the job I selected when I set up the Job Alert has anything to do with the medical field. It scares me to think that anyone would hire an Accountant/Bookkeeper to teach a Medical Assistant.
Homeland Security Professional | Training Available
This one scares me.
Call Center Reps Wanted in Medical Admin
Sr. Customer Service Representative
Nothing in the job I selected when I set up the Job Alert has anything to do with Call Centers or Customer Service Representatives.
Inside Sales Representatives Job
Nothing in the job I selected when I set up the Job Alert has anything to do with Sales.
Techno-Functional Consultant
Wha?
Shopper Assistant
There will be multiple listings for every city within the 75 mile radius of my search. And most of these are scam jobs anyway, asking you to pay a fee.

2. All the listings for the agencies I am registered with, but are different locations than I registered with - Am I supposed to apply for these? And if I am, and so are others, how do these agencies possibly sift through all of those applications?

3. The job postings that wait until you hit submit to tell you that you've already applied for that job - I apply for tons of jobs and save them in an email folder (just on the chance that I do get a call so I can look up the requirements of the position), I cannot remember every job I looked at or applied for, nor can I look through each one to determine if the job in the new Job Alert is something I've already applied for. Some of these applications are quite long, wasting a ton of time. Not that I have anything better to do.

4. Extremely long applications that time out, even though you are actively working on them. Some job applications I have had to start from scratch multiple times.

5. Dead links.

6. The link sends you to the agency site, not the job and you have to do yet another search.

7. Applications that ask you a bajillion questions, mostly customer service related multiple choice questions. Questions that can take an hour to complete.

Now for the giggles:

Administrative Assistant - New Faces Assistant - National online talent agency immediately seeks new faces assistant. New Faces Assistant is responsible for helping models and actors start and promote their careers. Individuals with a background and administrative or executive assistants do very well in this position. Position offers competitive pay, advancement opportunities, and excellent benefits. Models?
Only horny guys and lesbians will apply for this one. And no, I didn't apply. Lol!

Accounting - A/R, Credit and Gentle Collections Specialist - Includes the following duty, among others: Following up and making REALLY GENTLE reminder and collection calls on late payments.
Can you just hear my call to the delinquent client? Hi, this is Lola. I'm calling about Invoice 12345 which was due on 12/31/10. I know you're terribly busy, and I don't want to inconvenience you, but would you mind sending that payment in when you get a chance? Yeah...umm, thank you so, so much!

Just to be clear, I do not rely solely on Job Alerts in my job hunt. These are some of the other things I do:

1. Regularly check Craigslist and Ebay (yes, they have a Classified section that includes Job Ads, go check it out!).

2. Regularly check local newspaper Classified job ads.

3. Regularly check websites for hospitals within my search radius.

4. Regularly check websites for schools within my search radius. (That's where I got my first interview.)

5. Regularly check websites for companies within my search radius that interest me.

6. I periodically google search Bookkeeping Services to look for jobs.

7. Posted in my Facebook status asking if anyone knows of any job openings in my field.

8. I've asked women whom I've met through the online dating sites if they know of any job openings where they work, or where friends or family work. (Hell! I should have gotten a job by now just from this job source alone!)

9. Applied for jobs that have nothing to do with my field, like cell phone company store associates.

10. Gone on department store websites and filled out applications. Places like Target, Kmart, Walmart.

Network, network, network! I'm not shy!

I NEED A JOB!

I've even been tempted to do what a guy does on the Boughton exit ramp of I355. He has a cardboard sign that reads "Need a job" and he talks to each driver as they wait for the green light and offers them his resume if they know of a job opening or think they can help. He also panhandles, I wouldn't do that, but I would definitely pass out my resume (with only my email address, deleting my address and phone number...I'm not stupid!)

On Snow Day (Snowmageddon 2011) I was literally applying for jobs from 8:30am until 2pm without a break. Later in the day I applied for more as they hit my email box.

Got any other ideas?

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