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Saturday, February 29, 2020

Sunday Stealing-Bicycle Sidewalk

Hi! Your host Bev Sykes of the blog "Funny the World". . Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves!

Stolen from Bicycle Sidewalk

1. Do you think animals dream?

Without a doubt. My 3 cats will make sounds when they are sleeping, sometimes they move their paws as if they are fighting, or running.

2. Have you ever been to a fortune teller or psychic?

Yes. It was so fake it was a joke. My wife, who was my fiancé at the time sat with me while I had my fortune told and I sat with her when they did hers. Not sure if these were 2 “psychics” who worked together, or what the deal was. Anyway, my fiancé and I are sitting across from these 2 women. We both wore our engagement rings which were identical. These psychics did not have a clue, and definitely weren’t very observant. I always thought they worked off of keen observations. They just took our money and told us some pretty wild tales. I was told I would meet the ‘man of my dreams’ a year after the reading. That would be about 7 years ago. I will celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary with my wife this year. They also never mentioned my children. Absolutely nothing they said was even close to being accurate for either of us.

3. How important is it to have a low stress job?

Absolutely, 10,000% required! I have worked at several places where I was screamed at on a daily basis. Not because I did anything wrong. It was because my co-workers were nut jobs. One job, an elderly woman thought I was hired to take her job. I wasn’t. She screamed daily. She often screamed at me when I went in the file room after the president of the company directed me to retrieve something for him. When I complained, he said ‘she’s old, that’s the way she is, she’s not going to change.’ I was pregnant at the time and ended up going on leave 3 months early due to the stress. A different job, 2 co-workers basically wanted to make my life miserable so I would quit. They didn’t like that I was a lesbian and I knew it, and I wasn’t going to let them bully me into quitting. 

4. Do you always lock your house?

ALWAYS! People in my community have reported having burglars walk right into their house, while they were home and had their front door unlocked. My doors are locked whether someone is home or not.

5. What do you do if you feel lonely?

I don’t really have any friends. Not that I’m a bad friend, I’ve just not been friends with people who treated me well.

As a result I find it very hard to make new friends. I’d love to make a some new friends. I have Facebook friends, but it is very rare that I see them in person, or even messenger chat. Most are people I went to grade school and high school with. Many still live in the neighborhood I grew up in, they bought their parent’s homes. I’ve tried to make connections when I visit my home town, but we never have managed to meet up. When I’m feeling lonely I’ll go on Facebook and just read. Sometimes I’ll look for a group that has a lot of activity and I’ll jump in and comment.

6. Have you ever driven a sports car?

I’ve driven my sister’s Mustang and Camaro back in the day. More recently I’ve had car rentals upgraded to a Dodge Challenger and a Dodge Charger. 

7. Have you ever fallen down the stairs?

I have fallen down the last few steps, usually catching myself before I hit the bottom. I trip up the stairs more often. When I was a kid I always had bruises on my shins. Nowadays I trip up the stairs and lose my balance. It’s scary.

8. What do you think about the death penalty?

I go back and forth. I do think some of these killers are pure evil and they deserve the death penalty. However, I think that there are far too many people who may be wrongly convicted. I think prosecutors in some cases are out for a conviction, period.

9. What do you think about animal testing?

I am against it.

10. What are your neighbors like?

I have nicknames for most of my neighbors. Across the street is an empty lot where Drummer Boy/aka Metalicahead used to live. He was given that name because he played hard rock/heavy metal music all hours of the day and night. He also threw parties where he played electric guitar (badly) and sang (badly). He had amps and microphones. There would be days where he played the same damn guitar riff over and over for HOURS! It was obnoxious. Daytime wasn’t bad, because it was music I liked. But when any of our family wanted to sleep, it was too loud. When my community finally got a noise ordinance, the sheriff was over there sometimes more than once a day. We have a new neighbor to our right. They replace Mr. Friendly who was nicknamed that because he always had RBF, and never waved or said a word. The new people, we’re not sure if it’s a family, a group of friends, or both. Their nickname is the Whooptie Car house. There are about 6 cars in the driveway. One has a loud muffler set up and he always revs the engine for at least 30 minutes before he leaves and when he arrives. The neighbor to my left, no nickname. We know their names. The husband did handyman work around my house for years until my brother in law apparently had words with him. Now they don’t wave hello even when we do, and the husband turns his back to us when we come out of the house. My wife and I have both tried talking to him, but to no avail. We don’t know any of the other neighbors.

11. Do you turn off the water when you brush your teeth?

Sometimes yes, others no.

12, Are there any foods that you wouldn’t eat as a child that you now like?

I don’t think so. 

13. Is it important to always tell the truth?

Yes, and rarely no. No is reserved for those instances when it would cause more harm, like when someone has an illness or cancer that will not end well. There is no reason to tell them the truth just for truths sake, when it would hurt them deeply or confuse them more.

14. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Pumpkin Ravioli. It was the most vile tasting thing I have ever tried. Had it a a very trendy vegetarian restaurant on the north side of Chicago many years ago.

15. Do computers really help us save time?

Most of the time. The rest of the time they are just a better way of doing something, or making a record of something.

16. Do you have any tattoos?

No. I always say I’d like one, but I can’t figure out what I’d want.

17. Do you pray every day?


18. Are you in favor of cloning?

That would depend on the circumstances. I had stem cells implanted in my spine to grow a new disc between my vertebrae where the original dissolved. Using stem cells in that way is kind of like cloning, isn’t it? Aren’t stem cells used in cloning? I’m not really up on my scientific journal reading.

19. How do you feel about changing your nationality?

I don’t see the point. Why would someone want to do that?

20. Would you ever buy a used car?

I’ve bought many more used cars than new. When I buy used I try to get something a little old lady drove to church on Sundays. Looks new, low miles, well taken care of. I once bought a used 1993 Oldsmobile in 1998 that had 4,000 original miles. The lady drove it only to do her grocery shopping. It was like brand new. I don’t think new cars are a waste of money if they are well taken care of. I have a 2006 Honda I bought new. I still have it. It has over 230,000 miles on it. I feel like I got my money’s worth.

21. Should you spank a child when they do something wrong?

I’ve never been a fan. My policy was to only spank when one of my kids put themselves in danger. Running across the street before looking both ways. Touching a hot burner on the stove. A spanking was always followed by a long talk about the behavior that preceded the spanking.

22. Has science made a negative impact on society?

No. The negative impact occurs when the science is ignored.

23. Have you ever gone on a blind date?

I think all my dates were blind dates. I used dating websites. I never had anyone fix me up, and I never dated anyone I met outside those websites. I was never good with striking up a conversation with someone in a bar or social group.

24. Do you believe there is life after death?

I would like to believe there was something, or somewhere.

Lola’s Diner cc 2008-2020

Monday, February 24, 2020

Can’t a Matriarch Get A Break?

Ok, I agree, matriarch is overly dramatic and a bit much, but I do feel like the head of a family or tribe could actually be more accurate. 

Everyone comes to me with their complaints about anything and everything. My daughter complains about her housemates, her day program, her co-workers, the customers at her job. 

My son complains, mostly about the things his sister complained to me about, so I get hit twice with the same complaints. Oh, and then there are the trips in the way back machine that often require decoding. Is it a real memory? Why did he bring up that memory, and so on. The latest is, one of his friends announced on Facebook late last year that my son died. I have asked my son to have whoever has seen this to send him a screenshot. So far, no screenshot. So, not real/confused thought? I don’t know, but I do know that the supposed friend who is alleged to have reported my son’s death is a big enough ashhole to do it.

My spouse’s complaint today was how her younger  sister locked her keys in their Dad’s truck and wanted my spouse to come save her. How? We don’t have keys. Then her fiancé is calling my spouse and hanging up because she is angry that my spouse won’t go help. Then her little sister is complaining why can’t my spouse help since we have 3 vehicles. First of all, the fact that we have 3 vehicles is none of her business. Second, I decide what vehicles get driven because they belong to ME. Third of all, if my spouse says no, it means NO, there is no call for belittling her and accusing her of lying. Then her little sister tells her that her fiancé is “done helping us.” Really? REALLY? Is helping bringing over a 1/2 bag of food pantry cast offs they don’t want, that includes a box of open cereal and cream of soups that we don’t eat and some off brand mac n cheese? Other than that, she brought me a gas can with very little gas in it when I ran out of gas on I80. Then, because she got so little gas I ran out again on the off ramp. Did I mention this was about 8 years ago? YES, it was 8 years ago. She can take her “help” and fork off. Her little sister’s fiancé has been a pain in my ash for almost 10 years. When she was supposedly my friend, all the making plans with me and ditching me for better plans and not bothering to tell me. This happened so many times I can’t count. Then there was the year that she told my spouse she would throw me a birthday party, do the invites, the food, etc, so my spouse didn’t need to do anything, her little sister’s fiancé would take care of it all. In fact, she did nothing, no invites, no food, no nothing. My spouse and I spent the night alone, thinking at some point we would get a call. NOTHING. 

I am not everyone’s complaint bin. I’m done! I’ve gently told my daughter several times that I don’t want to hear about the bad stuff and the stuff that has nothing to do with her or anyone in our immediate family. Tell me some good stuff. She doesn’t need to dwell on these complaints in the first place. Most of the time they have nothing to do with her. I need to work on this more with my daughter. 

I am overwhelmed as it is. The new mortgage company harasses me almost daily, sometimes twice in a day. My electric bill was $467 last month because of the space heaters. My kids are again, both, in contact with their dad. This is more stress for me because the kids act up, and/or de compensate when he is in contact with them.

I swear if I hear one more negative thing or complaint from my spouse’s little sister and/or her fiancé, I’m going to need bail money. I’m not capable of a physical fight, but I still have a mouth and I can shoot it off LOUD enough and long enough for there to be a problem.

I want to run away from home.

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