The things I don’t like to think about are related to my Special Needs Adult Children. That’s what I tell people who are not close to me. That I have Spexial Needs Adult Children. Both my children have the same mental illness. I think there is even more stigma and negativity attached to mental illness with the school shootings and shootings in general. I don’t need to put myself through the questioning looks, and I don’t think I could handle a conversation about it with people who are not close to me. I thank God that my childrens’ illnesses have not taken a violent turn. I’ve not had to be concerned with physical abuse.
The things that I don’t like to think about have to do with all the milestones young adults go through starting in high school, dating, learning to drive, first job, touring colleges, selecting colleges. Graduating college. Getting engaged. Getting married. Having children. Their illnesses don’t prevent these life events, it doesn’t mean they will never happen. It just means that the road to them is much longer.
Every time someone I know reaches one of these milestones with their children I can’t help but feel a bit jealous. It’s short-lived, I don’t dwell on it, but it’s still there.
I just try as best I can to be there for my children and hope they are happy. The milestones will come in time...some of them. I just pray I get to see them.
Sometimes I think I should write a book about what it’s like...being a parent of mentally ill children, young adult children. I don’t know how to write a book. I don’t know if anyone would read it, but I do think it could be a very cathartic process. I write a lot of blog posts lately, I publish just a few. They’re too personal or gut wrenching, but I feel a little better after writing them. That’s probably more important...the feeling better part.
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