Yes, I invoked the “No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby...”
It was not pretty. Tree went up around noon. My spouse had to MacGyver it. It’s about 3 years old, I don’t get why things weren’t assembling properly and I am smart enough not to ask. My back is bad, so I did not join in any reindeer fun. My spouse’s back is bad too. Spouse is supposed to go for injections on Friday, first time, but rescheduled so we can visit her Dad’s on Saturday. I am not at all looking forward to the date she rescheduled the shot(s) for. Myself, and everyone I know who had had them were incapacitated and in pain meds for days.
Again, my Mom’s ornaments could not be found. It seems the attic was rearranged. We haven’t been leaving my son home alone long enough to reek that havoc so it’s my theory that we have poltergeists. Part of his illness makes him “get into everything and not put things back anywhere near where he found them. His dad did this too. It’s maddening. I’m chalking it up to poltergeists, that’s my final word.
Stopped at Walgreens to get a box of Whitman Chocolates. Left empty handed. Went home to prep the veggie tray. An entire bag of celery and 3 cucumbers are missing. Seriously. I checked my receipt, I paid for them. So my spouse went to pick up my daughter early to shop. It was a scavenger hunt for the celery. They moved it to the refrigerated cases. No Whitman’s. But they did have my Cape Line Sparkling hard seltzer that saved the night later. My spouse stopped at a different Walgreens after picking up my daughter from work. She scored the elusive candy and came home my hero! I haven’t managed to get the kids cookie baking for a couple years, so that Whitman’s Sampler was important!
Not so rookie tip...if you are going to make tamales for Christmas Eve, even if you cooked the meat ahead...DO NOT use a new recipe for the masa dough. I’ve made them 3 times before, twice with lard, once with canola oil. The lard makes it easier to assemble. The canola oil was pretty easy, but this year’s recipe did not have enough oil so that dough was sticking all over my hands and everywhere except on the corn husks. I had to quit at 4 tamales cuz I was losing my mind. (They were delish!) We decided to freeze the dough and use part of the meat for tacos. Here’s another rookie tip...no matter how many recipes on Pinterest or blogs tell you that it’s super easy to shred your meat in your Kitchenaid Mixer, DON’T! You will have meat flying EVERYWHERE and it won’t even be shredded finely enough. I’ve seen the after videos (cuz they aren’t gonna show the meat flying everywhere and the mess) and the meat is shredded finely, not for realz.
I started gift wrapping earlier in the week, a little each night because it causes so much pain. I still had quite a few left to do Christmas Eve. I didn’t go crazy with gifts, but I did try to replace as much clothing as I could that was destroyed in the flood. I was up until 4am because I had to take a lot of breaks. Christmas Day I really hurt and walk like Quasimodo, only more unsteady.
My spouse has cooking duty Christmas Day, thank goodness! She will be preparing the roast beast and I may prepare a side or 2. I feel remiss because I have not yet made Potato Latkes for Chanukah. The kid’s dad was Jewish, so I have excellent Jewish holiday cooking skills. And I’ve been asked more than once for Latkes. I’ve also been asked to make Kishka. I suppose I could make that and put it in the roast beast to cook if I have the ingredients for Mock Kishka.
Here’s hoping your holiday has less drama. Merry Christmas to you and your’s!
Lola’s Diner cc. 2008-2019
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