More prayers please...

My daughter is still in the hospital...still waiting to get to that magical therapeutic dose we are all waiting for.  The medication the doctor chose is one that starts at a very low does and is increased very slowly.

My son is also now in the hospital.  His anxiety level reached to a level that he could not handle.  I was up over 24 hours, getting him evaluated in the local emergency room and then transferred to the same hospital his sister is at.  Because it is the weekend, of course not really anything is being done to help him, except for keeping him safe.  He has not slept, and is constantly worrying about his sister.  The proverbial straw who broke the camels back was an incident in school on Wednesday.  He was doing a Power Point presentation and that last slide included a photograph of his sister.  Some jackass in class yelled out "I know her, I knew her in junior high.  She died.".  Then another kid calls out "yeah, why do you keep talking about her as if she's alive, you're hallucinating."  I couldn't believe my ears when the school social worker told me.  How could anyone be so cruel, and how could 2 cruel jackasses be in the same class?

I am beyond heartbroken.  I can't even tell you how much I hurt to see both of my children in the hospital.

Right now I need the support of my friends.  I'm not getting it.  I have just released a friend from my roster, so to speak.  A friend that I have always been there for, a friend that I have always driven a great distance to see.  A friend who apparently has one person on her mind...herself.  It was too far for her to drive to see me tonight.  This was something that was planned all week, and when I asked if she could come a little bit later because something came up, she pulled the long drive, have to get up early for church thing on me.  This has been building for some time.  Everything is about her, what she wants to do, when she wants to do it, when she can fit me in to her "busy" schedule.  And when I say "busy" schedule, I mean, fit me in the schedule that includes her other friends AND her 'I have to spend time alone' days.  Well, now she either has 1 extra day to be alone, or maybe she can pick up a new friend to fill in the opening.

UPDATE:
My son's blood pressure is sky high, even with the blood pressure medication they have been giving him in the hospital.  They are checking his pressure every hour.  During the allowed phone times he calls me, begging me to come get him and take him home.  I keep telling him I can't because his blood pressure is dangerously high.  I feel so bad for him.

No comments.  Really?  Everyone I know outside of the blog world has deserted me.  I know from past experience people get tired of hearing about your relative with a mental illness, but really?  No comments?

Lola's Diner ©2008-2012

Happy Mother's Day!

For those who are fortunate enough to have your Mother around this Mother's Day, give her an extra hug.

Lilacs were my Mom's favorite. We had several bushes in the backyard, where she could enjoy them while she was hanging out the laundry to dry. There's nothing like the smell of laundry dried outdoors and the smell of Lilacs. In 2009 I planted several Lilac Bushes in front of my porch. They're starting to get bigger now, and the fragrance is amazing. Sitting on the porch, drinking my coffee, breathing in that wonderful smell takes me back. For some reason, Lilacs and Coty Airspun Facepowder are the smells that most remind me of my mother. I recognize both instantly and it takes me back.

In honor of Mother's Day, I am re-posting Lola's Diner - Today's Post Is Dedicated To My Mother.

March 7, 2011, she would have been 81. She passed away 27 years ago. I was 22 at the time and I was devastated. It was completely unexpected and sudden.

My Mother was Italian. She was the youngest of 4 girls. Her Mother died during childbirth. The 4 girls were put in orphanages. My Mother was adopted and raised by a childless couple. Her father remarried and had another 2 girls and a boy. I believe it was in adulthood that the siblings reconnected and remained close. We always had holidays at what would have technically been my step-grandmother's house.

I am the oldest of 2 girls. My parents were married 11 years before they had me. My Mother was 36. She had 2 miscarriages prior. They were beginning to think they weren't going to have children. My sister was born 17 months later.

I was very close with my Mother. I would sit and watch her make spaghetti sauce from fresh tomatoes from the garden or clean huge fish that the neighbor boy brought over from his fishing trips with his Dad. I was always watching her when she cooked, no matter what it was. Whether it was simple fried pork chops, cube steaks, Sicilian steak, lasagna or bracciole. I was always there watching. I'm sure my love of cooking was cultivated in her kitchen.

I also am a perfectionist at ironing. Every day I watched my Mother iron my father's shirts and his handkerchiefs after school while we watched Leave It To Beaver in the living room. I would always ask her why she bothered ironing the handkerchiefs, especially considering they would get wadded up in my father's pants pockets right after he took them out of the drawer, but she insisted they had to be ironed. It was the 60's and that's just what wives did.

My Mother was my best friend and she was the Mom of our block. True, there were other stay at home moms on our block, but they didn't have the patience or compassion that my Mother had. Our house was the 'go to' house whenever any of the other kids on the block were having a bad day at home. Sometimes the kids would wait until late afternoon when my Mother would sit on the stoop, other times they were bold enough to ring the bell. My Mother always had a treat and a hug and a kind ear for all of them. I must admit that I was a bit jealous of the attention they got and I would always tell my Mother how she was being so taken advantage of because all they came for was the cupcakes, brownies or candy bars. Of course now I've come to realize that wasn't really true. Some of them just came for the hugs. For them, the treats were the icing on the cake. We had one neighbor with 5 kids and their Mom was always hollering at one or all of them for something. If I heard her hollering, I could count the minutes until one of their kids showed up at our door. Another neighbor had 7 children. Same thing. Yet another neighbor, the Mom started drinking beers at 10am and had her children clean house for her and get dinner ready while she sat back and watched her soaps. How did I know this? Because our friends always complained about the chores and if we ever tried to go to their house before their Mom let them out after chores, she would answer the door with a brewski in her hand.

Four years before my Mother passed away my sister and I threw our parents a 30th Wedding Anniversary Party. I rented out the local bar that had a hall that our relatives always used for occasions. I conspired with my Mother's sisters and her step-mother. Somehow I managed to cook all of the food at my mother's house on the sly. I made barbecued beef and took it to her step-mother's house and put it her their freezer. My sister and I purchased all the other necessary items and ordered salads from the deli store. One of my Aunts had sent them an invitation for a Wedding Anniversary for one of her sisters. My parents had no clue the party was for them. My mother even purchased a card and a gift. When they came to the hall and we all yelled "Surprise!" my poor mother turned around and walked out. Her sisters had to chase her down. She was embarrassed by all the fuss. After a few minutes she came back to the party and we all had a really great time. It was the first time I'd seen my Mother have more than 1 drink. If it's possible, she was even more sweet than usual. After the party my sister and I loaded up our cars with the leftovers and took them back to my parent's house. I sat up with my Mother for hours and she just talked and talked.

A few years later on New Year's Eve I didn't have any specific plans. I drove to my usual haunts and found nothing going on. I could have hung out anyway, but I kept thinking how my Mother was home alone. My Father had gone out to the bar he hung out at on Friday nights and my sister was out as well. After driving for awhile the guilt of her being home alone got to me and I stopped at PDQ (similar to 7 Eleven) and got a bottle of Cold Duck, a can of cheese spray and a box of Triscuits. I know it sounds funny, but hey, I was in my twenties! Besides, beggars can't be choosers when the only thing open was PDQ. My Mother and I drank the Cold Duck and had our cheese spray and Triscuits and rang in the New Year with Dick Clark. My Mother and I talked and laughed until my Father and my sister came home.

My Mother died suddenly the morning after my sister and I came back from a weekend in Madison. I'll never forget when my supervisor came up to me and said my Father had called and wanted me to go home right away. My sister was working with me at the time. I took my car and we drove home. Neither of us looked at each other. Tears streamed down our faces. Somehow, even though our Mother was never ill a day in her life, somehow we knew she was gone. When we pulled into our subdivision and saw the police squad in the driveway, we knew for certain. One of our friends drove us to the hospital, but she was gone before she left in the ambulance. A valve in her heart burst. Nothing could be done.

I don't remember what happened the rest of that day, other than I never slept. The next day our Father made us go with him to the funeral parlor. He told us that we had to go so we would know how to handle things when he passed. He was right of course, but that didn't make us feel any better about going there. When my Father did pass 6 years later I just went to the same funeral home and told them to just do it all up the same and I signed the papers. I really didn't need to go through that experience with my Mother to do that, but I think my Father had the idea that I was the oldest and that I had to know how to do that sort of thing. Surprisingly I did remember all the minutiae of the process, my sister of course did not. I don't think I slept for an entire week. I had never drank coffee before my Mother passed away, but I started drinking it after and I pretty much lived on it that entire week. My Mother had always said coffee was for grown-ups and had always looked down on youngsters drinking coffee. I guess with my Mother gone I suddenly felt like a grown-up. I still drink coffee to this day.

I think I cried the hardest the night of the funeral as people were getting into their cars and driving away from our house. I walked one of my friends to her car and it suddenly hit me that I never gave my Mother grandchildren. She so loved children and she often babysat for some of the other families on the block. Eventually I did have children, kind of late like she did. I'm hoping she's looking down from heaven and watching over her 2 beautiful grandchildren.

This Mother's Day is bittersweet.  My daughter is still in the hospital.  Has been since April 19th.  I can't tell you how much I miss her, how much we all miss her.  Children, hug your Moms today, and Moms, hug your children tightly today.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!


Lola's Diner ©2008-2012

Update

My daughter is still in the hospital.  The did a medication wash, stopping a medication and waiting until it is out of her system.  They stopped it Thursday, it takes about 4 days.  They started the new medication today, but it is going to be slow going.  This particular medication starts at a 1mg dose, twice a day, and each day it increases 1mg twice a day.  The therapeutic range for it is 12-24mg, so we have a way to go.

It was really rough talking to her when she was off the anti-psychotic medication.  The stuff the mind comes up with when things are misfiring...it's really bizarre. 

Please continue to pray.  Pray that this is the medication that brings her back to some functionality.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Lola's Diner ©2008-2012

PRAYERS NEEDED PLEASE

My daughter has been in the hospital since 4/19 and has not improved.  It sounds like the hospital is going to discharge her within the next few days because she is not suicidal or homicidal.  I don't know when hospitals or insurance companies started using that criteria for hospitalization for mental illness, but I have to tell you that is BULLSHIT!

Without getting into details, my daughter is very ill and the medication she is on, although they have increased it twice, has not improved her symptoms at all.  She is not at all ready to be discharged.

I ask that all my blog buddies pray for Maria, that the staff treating her at the hospital and insurance company have the wisdom to clearly see that she is not well enough to be sent home and that they change her medication to something more appropriate for her symptoms.

There is a Patron Saint of Mental Illness, St. Dymphna. By clicking on the link you can view a page that has a Novena to St. Dymphna, or you can say this prayer:

O God, we humbly beseech You
through Your servant, St. Dymphna,
who sealed with her blood
the love she bore You,
to grant relief to those
who suffer from mental afflictions
and nervous disorders, especially 

Lola's daughter.

St. Dymphna,
helper of the mentally afflicted,
pray for us. 

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit:
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.

Amen.

Thank you all so much!

Lola's Diner ©2008-2012

My GPS Sux!

So I've been dealing with my 5 year old Magellan RoadMate for longer than I can take.  It's one thing that the I355 extension that goes through my burb is NOT in the maps (to upgrade the map would cost as much as a new GPS).  And another that when driving north on I355 it doesn't tell me about the I55 north ramp until AFTER I pass it.  Sunday when I was driving to Chicago to visit my daughter in the hospital, it f'd up royally and sent me on a 40 minute detour in a not very good part of town.  My GPS didn't tell me to take I290 until I got to the point where I could not get on the ramp because a median strip blocked the way.  I was livid!

So what have I been doing since Sunday?  Shopping for a new GPS.  Happy Mother's Day early to me!  I decided that lifetime map updates and lifetime traffic updates were a necessity, however, I thought the expense of voice recognition was a bit much.  Once I basically knew what I wanted, I checked out Tom Tom GPS online.  I selected the Tom Tom Via 1505tm GPS.  Prices online varied from $119 for a new open box unit (nah), to $239.   I went on my Ebates.com to try to increase my savings, and found a new unit for $129, and I got free shipping, and 3% back from Ebates.com. 

Now I can't wait to get it.  Hoping it comes before the weekend, but not likely.

Now to decide what voice I want...

Will it be Yoda, to drive my kids crazy? Or Kim Cattrall's sultry voice?  Or how about John Cleese?  (Can you imagine John Cleese telling you to "When possible...make a LEGAL u-turn.")

Stay tuned to find out!

Lola's Diner ©2008-2012

100 Foods To Eat Before You Die

If I’ve tried the food, I’ll make it purple. If I refuse to ever try it, I’ll bold it.

1. Venison - I love venison. I once made a batch of venison stew, best stew I ever had.

2. Nettle tea - I believe I tried this when I hired a personal diet guru back when I was single and had $$. I didn't care for it.

3. Huevos rancheros - Of course! Love Mexican food!

4. Steak tartare - Yes, and I liked it. Wouldn't touch raw meat now though.

5. Crocodile

6. Black pudding

7. Cheese fondue - I love fondue! Which reminds me, I still need to have a fondue party!

8. Carp

9. Borscht - Sounds disgusting.

10. Baba ghanoush

11. Calamari

12. Pho

13. PB&J sandwich

14. Aloo gobi - Mmm. Love Indian food!

15. Hot dog from a street cart- Never from a street cart.

16. Epoisses

17. Black truffle

18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes- I chocolate wine once. Kinda weird.

19. Steamed pork buns

20. Pistachio ice cream- I love pistachio ice cream!

21. Heirloom tomatoes- I’m pretty sure I’ve had these.

22. Fresh wild berries- When I was a kid we picked strawberries growing in a field. I guess that constitutes "wild".

23. Foie gras

24. Rice and beans

25. Brawn, or head cheese - Not a chance! Bonus points if you remember what movie this line comes from "My brother makes head cheese reeeeeeeal gooood."

26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper

27. Dulce de leche - Does dulce de leche flavored ice cream count?

28. Oysters- Oysters Rockefeller...yum!

29. Baklava

30. Bagna cauda

31. Wasabi peas

32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl- Not in a sourdough bowl. But I prefer Manhattan Clam Chowder. Very hard to find around here.

33. Salted lassi

34. Sauerkraut

35. Root beer float

36. Cognac with a fat cigar - Not the Cognac, but I've had cigars.

37. Clotted cream tea - Not a fan of anything in my tea. Straight up please!

38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O shot- Surprisingly, never had one.

39. Gumbo- Love it!

40. Oxtail

41. Curried goat

42. Whole insects

43. Phaal

44. Goat’s milk- I’ve had goat’s cheese, so that counts, right?

45. Single malt whiskey - Whiskey is my friend.

46. Fugu

47. Chicken tikka masala- Love it! We make this at home all the time.

48. Eel- In sushi form only.

49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut- I just don't see what's so special about them.

50. Sea urchin

51. Prickly pear

52. Umeboshi

53. Abalone - Tuna? Yes.

54. Paneer - Saag paneer! Love it!

55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal- Not a fan, but have had it.

56. Spaetzle

57. Dirty gin martini - The dirtier the better!

58. Beer above 8% ABV- Probably have had it.

59. Poutine

60. Carob chips - Yes I've had it, and no, I don't think it's a good substitute for chocolate chips.

61. S’mores

62. Sweetbreads

63. Kaolin

64. Currywurst

65. Durian

66. Frogs’ legs - Tastes like chicken. Really!

67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake

68. Haggis

69. Fried plantain

70. Chitterlings, or andouillette

71. Gazpacho- Triple love it! But it's a lot of work to make at home.

72. Caviar and blini - I've had caviar. Usually have it for New Year's Eve. Never had blini.

73. Louche absinthe

74. Gjetost, or brunost

75. Roadkill- What? No way!

76. Baijiu

77. Hostess Fruit Pie - What school lunch in WI didn't include Hostess?

78. Snail

79. Lapsang souchong

80. Bellini- One of the best summer cocktails!

81. Tom yum

82. Eggs Benedict - Yum! Usually make this for holiday breakfast.

83. Pocky

84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant - Umm, yeah, right, on my salary?

85. Kobe beef

86. Hare

87. Goulash

88. Flowers- Probably, at a restaurant.

89. Horse

90. Criollo

91. Spam - Spam and eggs!

92. Soft shell crab

93. Rose harissa

94. Catfish

95. Mole poblano- I’m not a huge fan of mole.

96. Bagel and lox- Love it! It's been too long though.

97. Lobster Thermidor - I had my first whole lobster last month. Yum!

98. Polenta - Not a fan.

99. Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee

100. Snake

So now I want to know, what you have you tried? What do you want to try? What will you never try!

Lola's Diner ©2008-2012

Why are there only 2 kinds of N/A beer, but a bajillion kinds of regular beer...and other musings....

First off...where the hell have I been? Now there's a clue in there...

HELL!

Yeah, pretty much.

My daughter has had 3 hospitalizations since the beginning of 2012. Each one has been it's own different kind of roller coaster.

January was crazy busy at work and I pretty much came home to sleep. Ya gotta love payroll tax and W-2 time.

Remember the post about the microwave oven? Yeah, I think we went a month and a half without one because I was working so much and certain family members refused to make room/set it up. Oh...and they still don't know what a saucepan is!

I got tired of the arguments over laundry and how long it takes to dry, so I ordered a new dryer last month. The website failed to mention that it was special order, it's finally being delivered on Sunday. I will be doing the "I can finally wash and dry my clothes in my own house dance!"

Things I'd like to know/Things I want to say:

Can I please have some vacation days to actually take a vacation? I'm tired of using them to sleep because some cracker jack ER thinks it's awesome to keep you in their ER until 2am and then transfer you to another hospital in east Kishnev, so that you end up getting home at 4:30am, and you didn't even party or have a flippin' cocktail! I think that cocktails should be mandatory for parents waiting out a psych evaluation. It would certainly make us calmer. Hell! It would give us something to do! Some of those exam rooms don't even have televisions. What are you supposed to do? Stare at each other? Not exactly the best idea...I'm just sayin'.

It is NOT child abuse to take your wet laundry to the laundromat to use their dryers and save some $$. (Not to mention, not having to use their disgustingly dirty washing machines.)

While I'm on the subject of laundromats...would it kill the only one in my town to actually repair the dryers? There are more dryers with post-it notes on them saying "out of order", than there are working dryers. Oh, and I almost got killed this past Sunday when I went there. The dryer next to the one I was using started sparking. I mean SPARKING!

Why do they only have 2 kinds of N/A beer and a bajillion kinds of regular beer? I mean, come on! There's beers that use filtered spring water, platinum beers that are triple filtered, pilsners, Weiss, lagers, flavored beers (berry, honey, and so on.) It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if there were more variety in N/A beers they would sell more. Those of us who prefer not to drink alcohol, those who cannot drink alcohol. Come on!

Lola's Diner ©2008-2011