3 day Black Weekend

Or should I say 4 day, if you count Thanksgiving Day?

It really is a Black weekend.  Very depressing.  I have not stepped foot in a store, except for a trip to Walgreens on Thanksgiving to pick up Dishwasher Detergent.

As it stands now, I don't see any way possible to do any Christmas shopping.  I'm behind on my mortgage, and have a payment agreement to make one and a half payments each month, which leaves me no money for even food.  Any spare money goes for utility payments when I get shut-off notices and for medical co-pays that are supposed to be paid by someone else, but they are not paying them, and they are not answering their phone.  Hmm...who could that be?

I've had depressing Christmases before, and I've been able to pull something off for Christmas, but this time it seems different.  It seems much worse.  The reason I think it seems much worse is because I have 2 kids now with a mental illness.  Almost every night my son asks if he can open a Christmas gift early.  He seems fixated on it, and each time I have to say I don't have any Christmas presents now.  It's like a dagger in my heart every time.  The other reason is that my gf's Mom just got diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her liver, on top of that she has a very bad flu (one that there isn't a vaccine for this year) and pneumonia.  Her Mom is very weak, so weak that she cannot begin the aggressive chemotherapy that is needed for this cancer.  My gf's Mom is at peace with the prognosis, "when God says it's your time, it's your time", but it's very hard on my gf, she has never lost anyone close to her and she's in the anger stage now.  Why, with all the doctor visits and blood tests in the last year, was this not caught sooner?  I can understand the anger, but it's not doing anyone any good and it's just adding to her stress level.  I've told her how lucky she is to have this opportunity to spend this time with her Mom and say goodbye.  I never had that chance with my Mom, as she died suddenly with no warning of illness, nothing.  I know it's not much consolation, but when the news is bad, you have to find a positive and hold onto that.  Please send prayers and positive energy to us at this very difficult time.

If I am fortunate and receive any denomination of Visa gift card at my work holiday party, I will be spending it at GoodWill to make my money go further.

If you're fortunate this year and would like to donate to Lola's Diner, or would like to purchase an ad, please click on the link at the top of the blog. Anything would be much appreciated.

Thank you!


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