New car!

And I even recalled how to parallel park a boat! I lived in Chicago driving an ‘84 Olds Cutlass Supreme when I lived in Wrigleyville-ish near LSD. I was a professional.

Ok, you know, it’s a rental and I got very lucky. I reserved a Full-Size car with Enterprise on Priceline. Went for pick up and they had none on the lot. They tried to give me a Ford Edge, I said No, No, No. (Amy Winehouse) I own a large SUV, can’t afford to rent one, but I did get an awesome deal for a full-size car. I won’t drive a small car. All my previous rentals I’ve luckily gotten upgraded, the last one was a Dodge Charger, before that a Dodge Caravan, before that a Dodge Challenger. So I got upgraded to Premium, same deal I got for a Full-size with Priceline online. 

And the guy said ‘Mam, what about a Cadillac STS?” 

Yes, he said ‘Mam’, but I let it slide because I got to drive away in a 2018 Cadillac STS! 

I was so excited! A Luxury automobile! Rich, probably not Corinthian leather, but leather (yes I have leather in my Honda Pilot, but this is new leather, with new leather smell!)

I feel like I’m cheating on my Honda Pilot! It will be a short affair, though it's really so nice having a driver’s seat that functions properly. I reserved for 2 days because we have a lot of medical appointments all over. My baby is going in the shop Tuesday morning. Same repair we had done to driver’s side front needs to be done to passenger front. I think it has to do with the axel, the ball joint that attaches the wheel. I’m sure it will be the usual $300. Because no matter what the problem is, that’s the bill. Hoping it’s done before I have to drop off...her. I really don’t want to pay for a 3rd days rental. 

So, let’s get to it. Heated and COOLED front and rear seats. (Love, especially since the dash was reading 100 degrees for the outside temperature.) 

Front and rear cameras, with audible alert when you come within a foot of a parked car.  The alert went off when I was parallel parking, I had my son get out and check, and I had plenty of room. 

Push button start. Touch screen everything. If ever a crime were committed with her there would be plenty of fingerprint evidence. 

When you turn the car off, an alert pops up to remind you to check the back seat.

I checked, no baby back there...I was all good. 

The ride. Meh. Not impressed. It did not feel like a luxury car ride. It felt like an SUV ride on the Interstate. Even my spouse commented about it. She said, ‘wtf, why does this feel like your Honda Pilot?’

I don’t know. Maybe it was the tires. I have bought all my tires for the Honda Pilot at Discount Tire. I am brand loyal, I only buy Kumho. I always get a lot more mileage than they are rated for, and they’re reasonably priced. The particular model I buy are SUV tires. Every time I’m in for new tires they try to upsell me to the tires for a luxury car ride. It’s an SUV, I bought it because it’s an SUV, why would I want to try to make it feel like it drives like a luxury car? I don’t get it. Perhaps they put inappropriate tires on the Cadillac to talk you into a set of luxury ride tires? Or maybe it’s just a thing for this year and model Cadillac?

And now for something completely different...

(Bonus points if you know where that line comes from.)

If I were to say Patti Smith, Madonna, Amy Winehouse, what would you say they have in common besides being singers?

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Armpit hair.

First I have to say my son and I must be telepathic. My daughter had bought several sleeveless Bohemian looking tops. I saw them, and said ‘how about these?’ She lit up. I didn’t think she’d go for it, but bought 2. She wore one when we were having lunch days later. First my son says, ‘hey you should probably shave more’. Her response was, ‘no, they don’t show much and I think they are fine’. My son and I lock eyes, I kid you not, we both started singing ‘they wanna make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no.’ Then he says you have Amy Winehouse pits. Then we looked at each other and sang it again. Then we sang it again and changed rehab to shave my pits. We laughed our butts off! We told my spouse, she didn’t get it. You might not either, but it was hilarious! And yes, I did follow up with a quick talk about, it’s your body, it’s your choice, many women choose not to shave there, or only trim. You decide for yourself. Your brother and I just locked eyes and started singing Amy Winehouse, we’re goofs like that.

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