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Friday, March 20, 2020

The day before lockdown

Thursday was my test day. I did not leave home at all. Ehh, not a great day. A lot of anxiety. I normally have a lot of anxiety, but this was more than a smidge extra. Enough to have to use lavender oil to supplement my prescription.

I planned on going out today to get the last few things we need. I had bought a 3 pack of masks the last time my daughter had bronchitis, so I made use of the 2 remaining. One for me, one for my son, who is my shopping assistant. I also donned a pair of magic gloves because with my allergies I am always wiping my eyes or touching my face. Those gloves are rough, so 1 touch before I left the house and I had no problem remembering not to touch. I don’t give a rip what anyone thought about the 2 of us masked crusaders, on the lookout for my spouse’s cat’s canned food. Certain brand, flavor, and must be pate’. Queenie! We saw a lot more people with masks today, but they donned latex gloves. Eww! My palms are sweating just thinking about them. 

Before we left in the morning for the store I invoked the ‘speak now or forgetaboutit’, and no calling when I am IN the checkout lane to say ‘I just remembered, I need...’ I kid you not I get this call 9 times out of 10. If I’m not in the checkout lane, I just left it, or just got in the car. Today nothing was said until my son had put the groceries away. ‘We’re out of kitchen trash bags, did you get some?’ Was it on the list? Nope. Did u get it? Nope. Then, ‘We’re low on dishwashing soap...’ Same answers, so we had to don our masks and head to Jewel for one of the more ugly shopping trips...for just 2 items! Those items I never buy at Jewel so by the time we navigated through the crowds and found those 2 items almost an hour had passed. For the love of all that is holy, are you kidding me? Checkout lines were down the food aisles, the ones on the ends wrapped around to the store entrances. Somehow we got waved to a newly open lane. It took forever to buy 1 package of trash bags (the last one) and 1 bottle of dishwashing soap (also the last one). Everyone must have ran to Jewel after they heard that the governor was going to hold a news conference today.

So my daughter is an employee of a Critical Infrastructure Industry. She’s a bagger at a grocery store. ALL employees were handed letters that they were told to carry on their person on the way to and from work. It’s on company letterhead and signed by a Sr VP. The manager that handed it to my daughter called it her “ticket to work”.  As if my daughter wasn’t over the moon about having her hours doubled for the week starting Sunday, now she has a “ticket to work”. You would have thought she has the Golden Ticket in Willie Wonka. I could tell on the phone talking to her that she was beaming with pride. She really loves her job and the people she works with.

While I’m not thrilled that my daughter has to be out during this pandemic, her employer has hand sanitizer all over the work areas and managers do a walk through every hour to remind employees to use it at least once an hour. Working also keeps my daughter from thinking about what’s going on. She is a master ruminator. She is also not trapped in her group home with her housemates who are in various stages of decompensation. The bully is running hot/cold. Sometimes she’s bullying, others she’s very pleasant. At least 4 housemates are on shower refusal. And 2, this is really gross, are NOT wearing undergarments or outfits with pants. 

I try to avoid much of the news, but I caught a notification from CNN about a woman who lost her mother and 2 siblings to covid-19 and has additional family hospitalized, with only 1 in stable condition. Her family had a family dinner last month and apparently that was where they were all exposed. So very sad. 

Praying that somehow in some way the spread of the virus stops, and those who are ill are able to recover. 

Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020

Rumors

Not this kind:

 
If I had a $1 for each of the convoluted rumors I’ve heard...
I’m not hearing about them from Facebook. 
It’s word of mouth.
I’m not going to perpetuate them.
I get people are home and bored, but this rumor mongering will not end well.

(One of my favorite albums.)
Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020


Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Sheltering in place/Lockdowns

Hope everyone is staying healthy. This is some scary stuff.

I really don’t envy parents with school age children. Whether trying to work from home and basically home school, or still at your job and having to figure it out, it has to be hard.

So much we take for granted is on pause.
• School
• Work
• Dining out 
• Grocery shopping
• Picking up prescriptions
• Dr appointments and tests
• Group home coming and going and home visits
• Day Program 

A friend of my spouse’s has a daughter in preschool 2 days a week (so far still open) and a son in 1st grade. She works at a veterinarian clinic where they have had to lock the doors and let in 1 pet and their owner(s) at a time. The waiting area is now client’s vehicles. Both her kids are very high energy. Even though the school has given guidance for online learning, it’s still difficult to set a routine. She was flabbergasted that the outline of classes includes gym. GYM! So in the morning she sends her son out to ride his bike back and forth to the corner for awhile. When he’s done, she tells him “Good job! You got an A in gym this morning!” In the afternoon, after some online learning, it’s jumping jacks and squat thrusts. When he’s done, she tells him “Good job! You got an A in gym this afternoon!”

My daughter’s part time job is at a grocery store, so she will be working for the time being. This will be good for her because she loves talking to customers and she really enjoys interacting with her coworkers. Not thrilled she is out in the community, risking exposure, but the store is very strict on sanitizing and has hand sanitizer in work and break areas.

Dining out is delivery or takeout. Want to dine out? Hope you don’t mind crumbs in your car. We have cut out all outside food. Not out of paranoia, but out of trying to save money and make it to the end of the month. My daughter was the generous one, paying for dining out for the family or fast food. (We’re talking low priced fare and coupons.) My daughter is really missing dining out. Friday we thought she was going on a home visit, but if she would have gone home she would have to stay with us for 2 weeks and we would have to provide transportation for work. Since we had picked her up, I offered to take her to pick up dinner at a nearby restaurant. My daughter the planner, she ordered 3 meals to go so she would have food for several days. Lol!

Grocery shopping is a real chore. Stores are crowded, everything in short supply, and tempers run hot. Local Facebook groups and NextDoor have been having members report daily which stores have what, and what had already run out. People are stepping up, it’s really heartwarming seeing people offer items free to those who can’t get to the store because they are a caregiver for an immune compromised child or adult. People offering to shop for seniors too scared to leave home. Who would have thought that in 2020 people are helping others?

My spouse was at Target Tuesday, she saw an employee bring carts in and heavily spray sanitizer all over the carts. All over the carts! Not just the cart handles. I was both surprised and happy to hear it.

Prescription pickups aren’t bad, but it’s obnoxious how many times a week we have to pick up for a family of 4. Insurance won’t allow prescriptions to be filled early. Insurance also is no longer using the fill date to determine the next month’s fill date. They are using the pickup date, so we can’t pick up anything late because it delays next month’s refill. 

We cancelled this week’s Dr appointments and test on Monday. Drove by the podiatrist today and the lot was empty. My daughter had to cancel her ultrasound. I’m somewhat concerned because it is to check on her cyst, but since I have been getting her medication, I have insured there were no gaps in taking it, so it’s more likely the cyst hasn’t grown. No idea when we can reschedule anything. I don’t have follow-up tests on my tumor until December, so God willing this virus is contained and eliminated long before then. I do have appointments in May and June for my knees and shoulders. It’s crazy they were booked out 5 and 6 months ahead. 

As far as the group home goes, no home visits and no visits from family in the group home. We’ve bent the rules twice. Sunday they were out of bottled water and staff refused to brave the crowds. I wasn’t going to let the ladies to drink the swill that is their city’s water, so I picked up 4 gallons of water. I dropped off 2 and will keep 2 in case this happens again. Today I picked up asthma inhalers for my daughter so I called for permission to drop them off. Since I got the ok, I stopped at Jewel and got my daughter some items she needed and some treats to share with the ladies and staff. (Gotta keep the staff happy so I can drop off her other inhalers when the prescriptions are filled.)

Day program cancelled. Counselors and staff are supposed to be going to the group homes and doing the things they usually do at program like groups, creative time, social time, etc. They have shown up, but it’s basically been a free for all. Not happy about that, but since I’ve had to call the Director 3 times in 5 days, I’m going to see if things improve. The housemate who bullies and threatens my daughter came back from a rehab stay because she broke her leg. The second she returned she started up again. Staff and the team lead totally ignore it. Since I had to call for clarification on client jobs and transportation, I took the opportunity to address the bullying with the highest staff member. I threw ALL the staff and the team lead under the bus because they deserve to be there. The Director promised action, and so far things have improved. 🤞

Hopefully this won’t be long and drawn out. I’m praying for all of us.

Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Sunday Stealing-Sleepy Rambles

Stolen from Sleepy Rambles


Sunday Stealing



1. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? A photo of the bridge from Florida to the Keys. Love the keys. 

2. Who is the person you text the most in your life? What relation are you? My wife.

3.Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Carpet.

4. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? Why take a chance?

5. Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? Not a fan.

6. Chocolate or strawberry birthday cake? Choose one. If I can’t have chocolate cake with strawberry in between the layers, then chocolate.

7. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Veggies, because of the carbs and sugar in fruit. I overdid cauliflower for thanksgiving, so I only eat it raw for now. Favorite? Roasted Brussels sprouts.

8. Does the dentist calm you or does it tend to stress you out? Stresses me out. 

9. If you had to choose, which is the worst movie you’ve ever seen? There are many bad movies that I’ve seen, but I can’t think of even one.

10. Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? If I stub my toe on the bed frame, you betcha I’m gonna have a few choice words directed at that bed frame.

11. Do you like movies that are originally based on children’s books? Usually no. But I did enjoy the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” movies.

12. Is your hair more thick or thin? Is it more curly or straight? Very thin, very straight, but since I haven’t had a chance to get a haircut in awhile my wife has been calling it the Farrah Fawcett look because it’s layered and whispy on the sides.

13. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: Pass.

14. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? Red.

15. Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? My short term memory isn’t what it used to be.

16. Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? I have.

17. Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? I can be. It happens, and if it’s politics and I’ve misread who I’m talking to, I change the subject. Some people, at least a few I know, are so obstinate that it’s not possible to have a polite conversation, let alone a little debate. I agree to disagree and move on. 

18. Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? My daughter, my fiancé (now my wife), some friends back in my WI life. I also threw a surprise party for my parent’s 30th wedding anniversary.

19. What would you say your average word per minute time is on the keyboard? 90wpm.

20. Do you like fiction or non-fiction books more? What’s your favorite? Memoirs, biographies, and autobiographies are my favorite. 

21. Do you know how to play pool? Are you any good at it? Yes. Yes, I was good at it in my twenties. I seldom have the opportunity to play. 

22. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Back surgery. The back part is bad, but it’s the cutting through the muscles and tendons in the upper thigh that is the worst.

23. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? Yup. Insomnia and chronic pain is a bi***. I usually don’t intend to nap. It just happens when I’m exhausted.

24. Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I have. 

25. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I don’t think so.


Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020

Sunday, March 1, 2020

A Parent Should Never Say This To Their Offspring

“You haven’t amounted to anything.”  


“You haven’t amounted to anything” was said on the phone to my son by his dad on Valentine’s Day. My son has a mental illness. This coming from his dad who is not currently working, hasn’t worked much since 1995, and truly “hasn’t amounted to anything for realz.


No one should say this to their healthy offspring, let alone those with a mental illness or special needs.


I can say this because I HAVE amounted to something.

     • I raised 2 great kids with serious mental illnesses, as a single Mom who only got bs and excuses from their dad.

     • I raised 2 great kids with serious illnesses who are well mannered and polite.

     • I raised 2 great kids with serious mental illnesses who are loving and kind adults.

     • I kept jobs for years where I was treated horribly, where I was taken advantage of in terms of salary, where I should have left for a lot of reasons. I toughed it out and continued to work at these places because I was the sole provider for my children. I had to make sure I provided for ALL my children’s needs.

     • I own a home in a community that was #2 in the state when my children were attending middle and high school. 

     • I own 2 vehicles I use to take my children where they need to go.

     • I have insured that my children always got the proper medical care and medications and that they take their medications as prescribed.

     • I have advocated for my children and fought to get them hospitalized when they needed it and advocated and fought so that they received the appropriate care and proper medications to treat their illnesses.


I could go on, and on. You get my point. I raised my kids to be great adults despite interference and lack of support, both financial, and in the way that he treated them throughout their lives. The manipulation, lack of contact, inappropriate contact (verbal and written, which I have proof of by way of multiple Orders Of Protection).


I was driving when my son told me this. I wanted to burst into tears because of what an awful thing his dad said to his own child. I was so angry. I didn’t burst into tears because I didn’t want my son to see me do it. I was wearing sunglasses and kept wiping the tears that streamed down my face, trying to keep my son from seeing them. My voice cracked when I spoke. He knew I was upset. He didn’t need to know how upset.


I had to remind my son the place his dad comes from. His dad’s past history, the facts that his dad refuses to acknowledge.   


How would his dad even know what it means to be a person who amounts to something?


Lola’s Diner ©2008-2020

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Sunday Stealing-Bicycle Sidewalk

Hi! Your host Bev Sykes of the blog "Funny the World". . Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves!


Stolen from Bicycle Sidewalk




1. Do you think animals dream?

Without a doubt. My 3 cats will make sounds when they are sleeping, sometimes they move their paws as if they are fighting, or running.


2. Have you ever been to a fortune teller or psychic?

Yes. It was so fake it was a joke. My wife, who was my fiancé at the time sat with me while I had my fortune told and I sat with her when they did hers. Not sure if these were 2 “psychics” who worked together, or what the deal was. Anyway, my fiancé and I are sitting across from these 2 women. We both wore our engagement rings which were identical. These psychics did not have a clue, and definitely weren’t very observant. I always thought they worked off of keen observations. They just took our money and told us some pretty wild tales. I was told I would meet the ‘man of my dreams’ a year after the reading. That would be about 7 years ago. I will celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary with my wife this year. They also never mentioned my children. Absolutely nothing they said was even close to being accurate for either of us.


3. How important is it to have a low stress job?

Absolutely, 10,000% required! I have worked at several places where I was screamed at on a daily basis. Not because I did anything wrong. It was because my co-workers were nut jobs. One job, an elderly woman thought I was hired to take her job. I wasn’t. She screamed daily. She often screamed at me when I went in the file room after the president of the company directed me to retrieve something for him. When I complained, he said ‘she’s old, that’s the way she is, she’s not going to change.’ I was pregnant at the time and ended up going on leave 3 months early due to the stress. A different job, 2 co-workers basically wanted to make my life miserable so I would quit. They didn’t like that I was a lesbian and I knew it, and I wasn’t going to let them bully me into quitting. 


4. Do you always lock your house?

ALWAYS! People in my community have reported having burglars walk right into their house, while they were home and had their front door unlocked. My doors are locked whether someone is home or not.


5. What do you do if you feel lonely?

I don’t really have any friends. Not that I’m a bad friend, I’ve just not been friends with people who treated me well.

As a result I find it very hard to make new friends. I’d love to make a some new friends. I have Facebook friends, but it is very rare that I see them in person, or even messenger chat. Most are people I went to grade school and high school with. Many still live in the neighborhood I grew up in, they bought their parent’s homes. I’ve tried to make connections when I visit my home town, but we never have managed to meet up. When I’m feeling lonely I’ll go on Facebook and just read. Sometimes I’ll look for a group that has a lot of activity and I’ll jump in and comment.


6. Have you ever driven a sports car?

I’ve driven my sister’s Mustang and Camaro back in the day. More recently I’ve had car rentals upgraded to a Dodge Challenger and a Dodge Charger. 


7. Have you ever fallen down the stairs?

I have fallen down the last few steps, usually catching myself before I hit the bottom. I trip up the stairs more often. When I was a kid I always had bruises on my shins. Nowadays I trip up the stairs and lose my balance. It’s scary.


8. What do you think about the death penalty?

I go back and forth. I do think some of these killers are pure evil and they deserve the death penalty. However, I think that there are far too many people who may be wrongly convicted. I think prosecutors in some cases are out for a conviction, period.


9. What do you think about animal testing?

I am against it.


10. What are your neighbors like?

I have nicknames for most of my neighbors. Across the street is an empty lot where Drummer Boy/aka Metalicahead used to live. He was given that name because he played hard rock/heavy metal music all hours of the day and night. He also threw parties where he played electric guitar (badly) and sang (badly). He had amps and microphones. There would be days where he played the same damn guitar riff over and over for HOURS! It was obnoxious. Daytime wasn’t bad, because it was music I liked. But when any of our family wanted to sleep, it was too loud. When my community finally got a noise ordinance, the sheriff was over there sometimes more than once a day. We have a new neighbor to our right. They replace Mr. Friendly who was nicknamed that because he always had RBF, and never waved or said a word. The new people, we’re not sure if it’s a family, a group of friends, or both. Their nickname is the Whooptie Car house. There are about 6 cars in the driveway. One has a loud muffler set up and he always revs the engine for at least 30 minutes before he leaves and when he arrives. The neighbor to my left, no nickname. We know their names. The husband did handyman work around my house for years until my brother in law apparently had words with him. Now they don’t wave hello even when we do, and the husband turns his back to us when we come out of the house. My wife and I have both tried talking to him, but to no avail. We don’t know any of the other neighbors.


11. Do you turn off the water when you brush your teeth?

Sometimes yes, others no.


12, Are there any foods that you wouldn’t eat as a child that you now like?

I don’t think so. 


13. Is it important to always tell the truth?

Yes, and rarely no. No is reserved for those instances when it would cause more harm, like when someone has an illness or cancer that will not end well. There is no reason to tell them the truth just for truths sake, when it would hurt them deeply or confuse them more.


14. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Pumpkin Ravioli. It was the most vile tasting thing I have ever tried. Had it a a very trendy vegetarian restaurant on the north side of Chicago many years ago.

15. Do computers really help us save time?

Most of the time. The rest of the time they are just a better way of doing something, or making a record of something.


16. Do you have any tattoos?

No. I always say I’d like one, but I can’t figure out what I’d want.


17. Do you pray every day?

Yes.


18. Are you in favor of cloning?

That would depend on the circumstances. I had stem cells implanted in my spine to grow a new disc between my vertebrae where the original dissolved. Using stem cells in that way is kind of like cloning, isn’t it? Aren’t stem cells used in cloning? I’m not really up on my scientific journal reading.


19. How do you feel about changing your nationality?

I don’t see the point. Why would someone want to do that?


20. Would you ever buy a used car?

I’ve bought many more used cars than new. When I buy used I try to get something a little old lady drove to church on Sundays. Looks new, low miles, well taken care of. I once bought a used 1993 Oldsmobile in 1998 that had 4,000 original miles. The lady drove it only to do her grocery shopping. It was like brand new. I don’t think new cars are a waste of money if they are well taken care of. I have a 2006 Honda I bought new. I still have it. It has over 230,000 miles on it. I feel like I got my money’s worth.


21. Should you spank a child when they do something wrong?

I’ve never been a fan. My policy was to only spank when one of my kids put themselves in danger. Running across the street before looking both ways. Touching a hot burner on the stove. A spanking was always followed by a long talk about the behavior that preceded the spanking.


22. Has science made a negative impact on society?

No. The negative impact occurs when the science is ignored.


23. Have you ever gone on a blind date?

I think all my dates were blind dates. I used dating websites. I never had anyone fix me up, and I never dated anyone I met outside those websites. I was never good with striking up a conversation with someone in a bar or social group.


24. Do you believe there is life after death?

I would like to believe there was something, or somewhere.


Lola’s Diner cc 2008-2020

Monday, February 24, 2020

Can’t a Matriarch Get A Break?

Ok, I agree, matriarch is overly dramatic and a bit much, but I do feel like the head of a family or tribe could actually be more accurate. 

Everyone comes to me with their complaints about anything and everything. My daughter complains about her housemates, her day program, her co-workers, the customers at her job. 

My son complains, mostly about the things his sister complained to me about, so I get hit twice with the same complaints. Oh, and then there are the trips in the way back machine that often require decoding. Is it a real memory? Why did he bring up that memory, and so on. The latest is, one of his friends announced on Facebook late last year that my son died. I have asked my son to have whoever has seen this to send him a screenshot. So far, no screenshot. So, not real/confused thought? I don’t know, but I do know that the supposed friend who is alleged to have reported my son’s death is a big enough ashhole to do it.

My spouse’s complaint today was how her younger  sister locked her keys in their Dad’s truck and wanted my spouse to come save her. How? We don’t have keys. Then her fiancé is calling my spouse and hanging up because she is angry that my spouse won’t go help. Then her little sister is complaining why can’t my spouse help since we have 3 vehicles. First of all, the fact that we have 3 vehicles is none of her business. Second, I decide what vehicles get driven because they belong to ME. Third of all, if my spouse says no, it means NO, there is no call for belittling her and accusing her of lying. Then her little sister tells her that her fiancé is “done helping us.” Really? REALLY? Is helping bringing over a 1/2 bag of food pantry cast offs they don’t want, that includes a box of open cereal and cream of soups that we don’t eat and some off brand mac n cheese? Other than that, she brought me a gas can with very little gas in it when I ran out of gas on I80. Then, because she got so little gas I ran out again on the off ramp. Did I mention this was about 8 years ago? YES, it was 8 years ago. She can take her “help” and fork off. Her little sister’s fiancé has been a pain in my ash for almost 10 years. When she was supposedly my friend, all the making plans with me and ditching me for better plans and not bothering to tell me. This happened so many times I can’t count. Then there was the year that she told my spouse she would throw me a birthday party, do the invites, the food, etc, so my spouse didn’t need to do anything, her little sister’s fiancé would take care of it all. In fact, she did nothing, no invites, no food, no nothing. My spouse and I spent the night alone, thinking at some point we would get a call. NOTHING. 

I am not everyone’s complaint bin. I’m done! I’ve gently told my daughter several times that I don’t want to hear about the bad stuff and the stuff that has nothing to do with her or anyone in our immediate family. Tell me some good stuff. She doesn’t need to dwell on these complaints in the first place. Most of the time they have nothing to do with her. I need to work on this more with my daughter. 

I am overwhelmed as it is. The new mortgage company harasses me almost daily, sometimes twice in a day. My electric bill was $467 last month because of the space heaters. My kids are again, both, in contact with their dad. This is more stress for me because the kids act up, and/or de compensate when he is in contact with them.

I swear if I hear one more negative thing or complaint from my spouse’s little sister and/or her fiancé, I’m going to need bail money. I’m not capable of a physical fight, but I still have a mouth and I can shoot it off LOUD enough and long enough for there to be a problem.

I want to run away from home.

Lola’s Diner cc.  2008-2020
 
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